OCALA, Florida (AP) -- Gov. Jeb Bush suspended executions in Florida after a medical examiner said Friday that prison officials botched the insertion of the needles when a convicted killer was put to death earlier this week.
Separately, a federal judge in California imposed a moratorium on executions in the nation's most populous state, declaring that the state's method of lethal injection runs the risk of violating the constitutional ban on cruel and unusual punishment.
U.S. District Judge Jeremy Fogel ruled in San Jose that California's "implementation of lethal injection is broken." But he said: "It can be fixed."
Fogel said the case raised the question of whether a three-drug cocktail administered by the San Quentin State Prison is so painful that it "offends" the Eighth Amendment ban on cruel and unusual punishment.
Fogel said he was compelled "to answer that question in the affirmative."
California has been under a capital punishment moratorium since February, when Fogel called off the execution of rapist and murderer Michael Morales amid concerns that condemned inmates might suffer excruciating deaths.
Fogel found substantial evidence that the last six men executed at San Quentin might have been conscious and still breathing when lethal drugs were administered.
He ordered anesthesiologists to be on hand, or demanded that a licensed medical professional inject a large, fatal dose of a sedative instead of the additional paralyzing agent and heart-stopping drugs that are normally used. But no medical professional was willing to participate.
In Florida, medical examiner Dr. William Hamilton said Wednesday's execution of Angel Nieves Diaz took 34 minutes -- twice as long as usual -- and required a rare second dose of lethal chemicals because the needles were inserted clear through his veins and into the flesh in his arms. The chemicals are supposed to go into the veins. (Watch officials explain why it took 2 injections and 34 minutes )
Hamilton, who performed the autopsy, refused to say whether he thought Diaz died a painful death.
"I am going to defer answers about pain and suffering until the autopsy is complete," he said. He said the results were preliminary and other tests may take several weeks.
Missing a vein when administering the injections would cause "both psychological and physical discomfort -- probably pretty severe," said Dr. J. Kent Garman, an emeritus professor of anesthesia at the Stanford School of Medicine in California.
"All the drugs would be much slower to affect the body because they're not going into a blood vessel. They're going under the skin. They take a long time to be absorbed by the body," said Garman, said he was ethically opposed to lethal injection.
An inmate would remain conscious for a longer period of time and would likely be aware of increased difficulty breathing and pain caused by angina, the interruption of blood flow to the heart, he said.
Jonathan Groner, associate professor of surgery at Ohio State University, said the injection would cause excruciating pain "like your arms are on fire."
Bush created a commission to examine the state's lethal injection process in light of Diaz's case, and he halted the signing of any more death warrants until the panel completes its final report by March 1.
The governor said he wants to ensure the process does not constitute cruel and unusual punishment, as some death penalty foes argued bitterly after Diaz's execution. Florida has 374 people on death row; it has carried out four executions this year.
Medical findings contradict prison officials
Diaz, 55, was put to death for murdering the manager of a Miami topless bar during a holdup in 1979.
The medical examiner's findings contradicted the explanation given by prison officials, who said Diaz needed the second dose because liver disease caused him to metabolize the lethal drugs more slowly. Hamilton said that although there were records that Diaz had hepatitis, his liver appeared normal.
Executions in Florida normally take no more than about 15 minutes, with the inmate rendered unconscious and motionless within three to five minutes. But Diaz appeared to be moving 24 minutes after the first injection, grimacing, blinking, licking his lips, blowing and appearing to mouth words.
As a result of the chemicals going into Diaz's arms around the elbow, he had a 12-inch chemical burn on his right arm and an 11-inch chemical burn on his left arm, Hamilton said.
Florida Corrections Secretary James McDonough said the execution team did not see any swelling of the arms, which would have been an indication that the chemicals were going into tissues and not veins.
Diaz's attorney, Suzanne Myers Keffler, reacted angrily to the findings.
"This is complete negligence on the part of the state," she said. "When he was still moving after the first shot of chemicals, they should have known there was a problem and they shouldn't have continued. This shows a complete disregard for Mr. Diaz. This is disgusting." (Watch Keffer describe Diaz "suffering in pain" -- 2:42 )
Earlier, in a court hearing in Ocala, she had won an assurance from the attorney general's office that she could have access to all findings and evidence from the autopsy. She withdrew a request for an independent autopsy.
David Elliot, spokesman for the National Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty, said experts his group had contacted suspected that liver disease was not the explanation for the problem.
"Florida has certainly deservedly earned a reputation for being a state that conducts botched executions, whether its electrocution or lethal injection," Elliot said. "We just think the Florida death penalty system is broken from start to finish."
Florida got rid of the electric chair after two inmates' heads caught fire during executions in the 1990s and another suffered a severe nosebleed in 2000. Lethal injection was portrayed as a more humane and more reliable process.
Twenty people have been executed by injection in Florida since the state switched from the electric chair in 2000.
Lethal injection is the preferred execution method in 37 states.
Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
"The death penalty is not only a form of vengeance, but also a cowardly act by humans."
Blogger's note: Jeb Bush calls this execution a "procedure" twice while addressing the public. I wonder if that's the word he uses when he goes home at night and begs forgiveness from his Almighty. Put on your big boy underpants and call it what it is, Jeb: murder.
Editor's Note: Associated Press reporter Ron Word has witnessed more than 50 Florida executions since 1984, including all 20 the state has conducted by lethal injection.
JACKSONVILLE, Florida (AP) -- It seemed like Angel Nieves Diaz would never die.
Two executioners injected him with three chemicals that were supposed to do the job in a few minutes.
But 10 minutes later, he was still alive, his eyes darting back at the 25 witnesses.
Diaz shuddered several times, but continued moving and breathing for nearly half an hour.
He finally died 34 minutes after the execution began.
I've witnessed all 20 lethal injections in Florida.
In most cases, the inmate is unconscious in three to five minutes and dies in 10 to 15 minutes.
But Diaz, who was condemned for shooting the manager of a Miami topless club in 1979, needed a rare second dose of chemicals Wednesday before dying.
Seconds after the chemicals began flowing, Diaz looked up, blinked several times and appeared to be mouthing words, perhaps a prayer, some suggested.
A minute later, he began grimacing, later licking his lips and blowing. He appeared to move for 24 minutes after the first injection.
In most Florida executions, witnesses have little to watch. No talking is allowed, and the only sound comes from a noisy window air conditioner.
First, the official witnesses take seats in the first two rows. Reporters are assigned the back two rows.
Then brown drapes separating the witness room windows from the execution chamber are opened. The inmate can be seen strapped to a gurney, IV tubes running into each arm and a sheet pulled up to below his chin. Plastic tubes extend through a hole in the wall where the two executioners, who are paid $150 in cash each, wait for a signal from the warden to begin.
Lethal injections are done in the same room where Florida's famous electric chair "Old Sparky" was used to electrocute 44 inmates after the state resumed executions in 1979 following a 15-year hiatus.
Florida later switched to lethal injection because two inmates' heads caught fire during executions in the 1990s and another suffered a severe nose bleed in 2000.
After the curtains open, the warden asks if the inmate has a final statement.
A microphone hanging from the ceiling picks up the condemned person's last words.
In a faint voice, Diaz proclaimed his innocence in Spanish and criticized the way he was being put to death.
"The death penalty is not only a form of vengeance, but also a cowardly act by humans," he said. "I'm sorry for what is happening to me and my family who have been put through this."
In October, Gainesville serial killer Danny Rolling sang a spiritual song.
In 2002, Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who killed six customers, predicted that she would somehow be back.
After the statement, the warden nods, signaling for the chemicals to begin flowing. Two medical professionals watch a heart monitor attached to the inmate. When it shows no activity, they emerge wearing strange-looking "moon suits," which cover them from head to toe.
Corrections officials say it is to protect their identity.
After checking for a pulse and shining a flashlight in the inmate's eyes, one of them nods to the warden, who notifies the governor and makes the final announcement: "The sentence of the state of Florida vs. Angel Diaz has been carried out at 6:36 p.m. Please exit to the rear of the room."
Department of Corrections spokeswoman Gretl Plessinger said she doesn't believe Diaz felt any pain and had liver disease, which required the second dose.
"It was not unanticipated. The metabolism of the drugs to the liver is slowed," Plessinger said.
Diaz's cousin Maria Otero said the family had never heard he suffered from liver disease.
"Why a stupid second dose?" Otero said.
Gov. Jeb Bush said the Department of Corrections followed all protocols.
"A preexisting medical condition of the inmate was the reason tonight's procedure took longer than recent procedures carried out this year," the governor said in a news release.
A spokesman for Floridians for Alternatives to the Death Penalty, called Diaz's death a botched execution.
"They had to execute him twice," Mark Elliot said. "If Floridians could witness the pain and the agony of the executed man's family, they would end the death penalty."
Defense attorneys and death penalty opponents were outraged over the length of time Diaz took to die.
"I am definitely appalled at what happened. I have no doubt he suffered unduly," Angel Nieves Diaz's attorney, Suzanne Myers Keffer, told the AP.
Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Editor's Note: Associated Press reporter Ron Word has witnessed more than 50 Florida executions since 1984, including all 20 the state has conducted by lethal injection.
JACKSONVILLE, Florida (AP) -- It seemed like Angel Nieves Diaz would never die.
Two executioners injected him with three chemicals that were supposed to do the job in a few minutes.
But 10 minutes later, he was still alive, his eyes darting back at the 25 witnesses.
Diaz shuddered several times, but continued moving and breathing for nearly half an hour.
He finally died 34 minutes after the execution began.
I've witnessed all 20 lethal injections in Florida.
In most cases, the inmate is unconscious in three to five minutes and dies in 10 to 15 minutes.
But Diaz, who was condemned for shooting the manager of a Miami topless club in 1979, needed a rare second dose of chemicals Wednesday before dying.
Seconds after the chemicals began flowing, Diaz looked up, blinked several times and appeared to be mouthing words, perhaps a prayer, some suggested.
A minute later, he began grimacing, later licking his lips and blowing. He appeared to move for 24 minutes after the first injection.
In most Florida executions, witnesses have little to watch. No talking is allowed, and the only sound comes from a noisy window air conditioner.
First, the official witnesses take seats in the first two rows. Reporters are assigned the back two rows.
Then brown drapes separating the witness room windows from the execution chamber are opened. The inmate can be seen strapped to a gurney, IV tubes running into each arm and a sheet pulled up to below his chin. Plastic tubes extend through a hole in the wall where the two executioners, who are paid $150 in cash each, wait for a signal from the warden to begin.
Lethal injections are done in the same room where Florida's famous electric chair "Old Sparky" was used to electrocute 44 inmates after the state resumed executions in 1979 following a 15-year hiatus.
Florida later switched to lethal injection because two inmates' heads caught fire during executions in the 1990s and another suffered a severe nose bleed in 2000.
After the curtains open, the warden asks if the inmate has a final statement.
A microphone hanging from the ceiling picks up the condemned person's last words.
In a faint voice, Diaz proclaimed his innocence in Spanish and criticized the way he was being put to death.
"The death penalty is not only a form of vengeance, but also a cowardly act by humans," he said. "I'm sorry for what is happening to me and my family who have been put through this."
In October, Gainesville serial killer Danny Rolling sang a spiritual song.
In 2002, Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who killed six customers, predicted that she would somehow be back.
After the statement, the warden nods, signaling for the chemicals to begin flowing. Two medical professionals watch a heart monitor attached to the inmate. When it shows no activity, they emerge wearing strange-looking "moon suits," which cover them from head to toe.
Corrections officials say it is to protect their identity.
After checking for a pulse and shining a flashlight in the inmate's eyes, one of them nods to the warden, who notifies the governor and makes the final announcement: "The sentence of the state of Florida vs. Angel Diaz has been carried out at 6:36 p.m. Please exit to the rear of the room."
Department of Corrections spokeswoman Gretl Plessinger said she doesn't believe Diaz felt any pain and had liver disease, which required the second dose.
"It was not unanticipated. The metabolism of the drugs to the liver is slowed," Plessinger said.
Diaz's cousin Maria Otero said the family had never heard he suffered from liver disease.
"Why a stupid second dose?" Otero said.
Gov. Jeb Bush said the Department of Corrections followed all protocols.
"A preexisting medical condition of the inmate was the reason tonight's procedure took longer than recent procedures carried out this year," the governor said in a news release.
A spokesman for Floridians for Alternatives to the Death Penalty, called Diaz's death a botched execution.
"They had to execute him twice," Mark Elliot said. "If Floridians could witness the pain and the agony of the executed man's family, they would end the death penalty."
Defense attorneys and death penalty opponents were outraged over the length of time Diaz took to die.
"I am definitely appalled at what happened. I have no doubt he suffered unduly," Angel Nieves Diaz's attorney, Suzanne Myers Keffer, told the AP.
Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Ann Coulter is a hypocrite
It's easy to see how Ann Coulter has gained such popularity as the pretty face of Republicanism. Let's not forget, though, that the Devil himself was adroit at the art of disguise. Ann Coulter as the poster child for young female Republicans reminds me of John Wayne Gacy. The child molester and serial killer who dressed as a friendly clown for birthday parties and neighborhood celebrations. He looks like your friend, but beneath the white face paint and big red nose (or in this case the blonde hair and Miss America smile) is a festering boil of pus and hypocracy.
The following statement was taken from Ann Coulter's Official Website:
Maybe the lower-class, underprivileged 18-year-old boys who are being shipped overseas will start acting a little less "crazy" as soon as the powers that be decide what they really want this war to be about. If I was pulling triggers and risking my life for a frivolous cause, I too would start to go a little crazy.
Oh, and the fact that she even jokes about Karl Rove paying Kerry to say ridiculous things is beyond my comprehension. Hasn't Rove gotten himself into enough trouble without Coulter insinuating that the Republican administration is even more underhanded than we all thought?
And finally - Ha ha ha ha!! While Ann bitches about the liberal media, I'll be at home with my wife doing a happy little "We brought the House back!" dance over a few beers.
CLINTON/OBAMA '08!!
The following statement was taken from Ann Coulter's Official Website:
John Kerry is the "botched joke" of American politics. For those of you keeping score at home, John Kerry has now called members of the U.S. military (a) stupid, (b) crazy, (c) murderers, (d) rapists, (e) terrorizers of Iraqi women and children. I wonder what he'll call them tomorrow. Whatever Karl Rove is paying John Kerry to say stupid things, it's worth every penny.Oh! Oh! Oh! Pick me! Remember when Senator Allen called his colleague a "macaca?" Is some ridiculous comment by John Kerry really all she can come up with? At least his comments were relevant, and not just racist name-calling.
Maybe the lower-class, underprivileged 18-year-old boys who are being shipped overseas will start acting a little less "crazy" as soon as the powers that be decide what they really want this war to be about. If I was pulling triggers and risking my life for a frivolous cause, I too would start to go a little crazy.
Oh, and the fact that she even jokes about Karl Rove paying Kerry to say ridiculous things is beyond my comprehension. Hasn't Rove gotten himself into enough trouble without Coulter insinuating that the Republican administration is even more underhanded than we all thought?
And finally - Ha ha ha ha!! While Ann bitches about the liberal media, I'll be at home with my wife doing a happy little "We brought the House back!" dance over a few beers.
CLINTON/OBAMA '08!!
Monday, November 06, 2006
When stupidity eradicates the need for DNA testing...
The wife and I spend a LOT of time watching Forensic Files, Autopsy, Cold Case Files and the like. I mean, a LOT of time. And we always talk about how, even if we were capable of such a thing, we could never commit murder because DNA testing and emerging sciences render it nearly impossible to get away with a crime.
And yet some jackasses make it SO easy! If every murderer was this bereft of the most basic common sense, there would be no need for DNA testing. Then again, the wife and I would have many, many hours of forensic entertainment to fill.
And yet some jackasses make it SO easy! If every murderer was this bereft of the most basic common sense, there would be no need for DNA testing. Then again, the wife and I would have many, many hours of forensic entertainment to fill.
JACKSON, Michigan (AP) -- The party game asked people to name the stupidest thing they had ever done. Police say Jerry Rose answered, "Shot a guy in the head."
Now, Rose is charged with murder and armed robbery in the March 22 slaying of 60-year-old Edgar Hawke.
Hawke's wife and 14-year-old granddaughter found his body at the bottom of the basement stairs in his Parma Township home. A large amount of cash and a .22-caliber rifle were missing, The Jackson Citizen Patriot reported Saturday.
Police were making little headway in their investigation until officers in neighboring Calhoun County questioned Rose's girlfriend about a series of break-ins. She told them about Rose's confession during a summer party, and they gave the information to Jackson County sheriff's detectives.
Rose, 29, was arrested Wednesday at his mother's home. He was arraigned Friday and was being held without bond pending a preliminary hearing November 15.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
I heart Damien Jurado, but this post has nothing to do with that
I need to take a moment to vent about my week. It seems like everything that could have gone wrong this week, did. I try to be grateful every day, but this week was really, really difficult. I had two papers due on Wednesday, which I didn't finish until Wednesday afternoon, and only because I skipped my morning class. Wednesday night I had a blow out with a professor after class which was just awful. Then, the work study office informed me that I can't get paid for my first TWO pay periods, because my tax forms were not submitted, even though the financial aid office told me they were. And today, my ex-boyfriend who I haven't spoken with in six months decided to contact me, the day before a Policy midterm for which I still have not finished studying. Anyone know what it feels like to read the same sentence over and over for twenty minutes because you just can't concentrate? Not conducive to reading 200 pages of the history of social welfare. And I haven't even mentioned the totally depressing home visit in which my client started crying the second I arrived, the dream about my dad having cancer, that my parents informed me they're selling the house I grew up in, or the argument with my mother that ensued. Furthermore, I am flat broke.
Good things that happened this week:
1) Sold my car to Uncle Bob
2) Reunited with an old high school friend
3) Puppy-sat a Yorkie
4) Dinner with Maureen at Isabella's, on her boss
5) Asit bought my drink on Saturday
6) Discovered the beauty of Exercise on Demand
7) My co-workers were amazing, as usual
8) Matt brought me Ben & Jerry's
9) Saw a lot of friends and caught up with Lizzie
10) Cart coffee, every single day
Not so bad, eh? There's nothing like a little gratitude and perspective. I already feel better.
Good things that happened this week:
1) Sold my car to Uncle Bob
2) Reunited with an old high school friend
3) Puppy-sat a Yorkie
4) Dinner with Maureen at Isabella's, on her boss
5) Asit bought my drink on Saturday
6) Discovered the beauty of Exercise on Demand
7) My co-workers were amazing, as usual
8) Matt brought me Ben & Jerry's
9) Saw a lot of friends and caught up with Lizzie
10) Cart coffee, every single day
Not so bad, eh? There's nothing like a little gratitude and perspective. I already feel better.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
There goes your man...
The wife and I went to see my man Damien Jurado at the Knitting Factory last night. Rosie Thomas opened the show, and she was awesome as well. She has a really, REALLY high speaking voice, like a little girl. Wife and I were surprised that her singing voice was significantly lower. After her performance, she greeted fans at the stage with hugs and kind words. She was an incredibly gracious performer!
And then came my boyfriend Damien. Turns out he's married with at least one kid, which broke my heart a little, but I got what I came for. At the end of the show, wife and I requested Letters and Drawings and he PLAYED IT for the encore. He was totally awesome about it, and actually talked to us a little from the stage. And then he forgot the lyrics like three times. He commented on being intimidated to be playing a NYC venue and the audience was all, "But we love you!" The venue was pretty full, but so small, and I realized that Damien is a lot more popular in my head than in reality. He's so friggin adorable, I just want to go pinch his cheeks. I'm reposting my favorite picture of him.
And then came my boyfriend Damien. Turns out he's married with at least one kid, which broke my heart a little, but I got what I came for. At the end of the show, wife and I requested Letters and Drawings and he PLAYED IT for the encore. He was totally awesome about it, and actually talked to us a little from the stage. And then he forgot the lyrics like three times. He commented on being intimidated to be playing a NYC venue and the audience was all, "But we love you!" The venue was pretty full, but so small, and I realized that Damien is a lot more popular in my head than in reality. He's so friggin adorable, I just want to go pinch his cheeks. I'm reposting my favorite picture of him.
We'd have really cute babies, I think. He definitely has a Ditu face to complement my own. (Only wifey will get that reference.) I'm going to post another, because I love him.
Isn't he the cuteness? Wifey and I had a blast. God I love the Knitting Factory.
In the words of Pee-Wee Herman, "And knitting, and knitting, and knitting...."
Thursday, September 21, 2006
ONLY two years?
Man jailed for decapitating cat
I read a story a few months ago about a step-father who, following an argument with his step-children, grabbed their pet goldfish out of its bowl, threw it to the ground and stomped on it. This man was sentenced to one year in prison.
I was so proud of our judicial system for honoring the emotional distress of the children and acknowledging the murder of a family pet, regardless of its size. If a man has no qualms about killing his children's pet in front of them, you have to wonder what he's capable of next time. I think a year in prison, hopefully coupled with therapy, will give him a good amount of time to think about the implications of what he's done. I can't imagine how traumatizing this event was for small children.
I'm not trying to say a fish's life is worth less than a kitten's, and I'm glad this Illinois man was sentenced to two years, but again here, what might this man be capable of next time? Certainly ripping the head off a kitten requires a great deal more strength, determination and apathy. To me, the squeamish factor is so important. When you stomp on a goldfish, it's not pretty, I'm sure. But to tear the head off a live kitten is to see and hear it struggle, and to witness the gruesomeness of a viable little body destroyed. A cat is too close to a human, physically, for this situation not to warrent concern over his sociopathic disregard for the well-being of a helpless animal. Not to mention his girlfriend's emotional state upon witnessing the murder of a kitten.
It's not the "worth" of an animal that should determine a sentence, but the implications of the murder. Is a man who stomps a goldfish to death less of a threat to society than a man who decapitates a kitten? Obviously I can't answer that, but my gut says yes. Or maybe these two men are just at different stages along the continuum of murderous capabilities. Just like Dahmer kept animal carcases and liked to touch dead things, such as roadkill, might this man too be on his way to bigger victims? Maybe that's an unfair comparison considering Dahmer's severe psychological issues...but I still have to wonder.
Would YOU want this guy back out on the streets after two years? I'm just glad I've got indoor cats.
I read a story a few months ago about a step-father who, following an argument with his step-children, grabbed their pet goldfish out of its bowl, threw it to the ground and stomped on it. This man was sentenced to one year in prison.
I was so proud of our judicial system for honoring the emotional distress of the children and acknowledging the murder of a family pet, regardless of its size. If a man has no qualms about killing his children's pet in front of them, you have to wonder what he's capable of next time. I think a year in prison, hopefully coupled with therapy, will give him a good amount of time to think about the implications of what he's done. I can't imagine how traumatizing this event was for small children.
I'm not trying to say a fish's life is worth less than a kitten's, and I'm glad this Illinois man was sentenced to two years, but again here, what might this man be capable of next time? Certainly ripping the head off a kitten requires a great deal more strength, determination and apathy. To me, the squeamish factor is so important. When you stomp on a goldfish, it's not pretty, I'm sure. But to tear the head off a live kitten is to see and hear it struggle, and to witness the gruesomeness of a viable little body destroyed. A cat is too close to a human, physically, for this situation not to warrent concern over his sociopathic disregard for the well-being of a helpless animal. Not to mention his girlfriend's emotional state upon witnessing the murder of a kitten.
It's not the "worth" of an animal that should determine a sentence, but the implications of the murder. Is a man who stomps a goldfish to death less of a threat to society than a man who decapitates a kitten? Obviously I can't answer that, but my gut says yes. Or maybe these two men are just at different stages along the continuum of murderous capabilities. Just like Dahmer kept animal carcases and liked to touch dead things, such as roadkill, might this man too be on his way to bigger victims? Maybe that's an unfair comparison considering Dahmer's severe psychological issues...but I still have to wonder.
Would YOU want this guy back out on the streets after two years? I'm just glad I've got indoor cats.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
That's not a roach...
...nope, that's a small mouse.
L came over to my desk today and asked if one of my jobs as an intern was to catch mice. I asked her what she was talking about, and she informed me that there was a mouse stuck on fly paper (but the kind for roaches) in the kitchen and it was still alive.
I went in, and sure enough, there's the tiniest little gray mouse in the death grip of the most vicious glue you can imagine, struggling to get free but clearly losing his moxie and his will to live.
I told them (it was early, there were only about 4 of us in the office at the time) that I'd take care of it, which took them by surprise. Being an ex-rodent owner, I have no problem with the little guys and wanted to see if I could set him free.
Armed with a Bic pen and the fly paper, I marched little Mickey out to the park where I managed successfully to get his tail free, but wasn't having much luck with the rest of him. One side of his face was glued (quite fatally) to the paper, and the eye on the side facing up was bulging out of it's socket, from what looked like terrible exertion.
As I tried to pry his body free, he started squeaking in pain, and it was at that point that I started on his head and realized that he wasn't getting out of this alive.
A man who had been watching me came over and asked what I was doing. (I'm applying for a library card, sir.) "Trying to free this mouse," I responded. "His eye is bulging."
"Yeah, he's dying. Hold that paper still." The man picked up a wooden pole that was lying in the grass and tried to pry him free with that, but the pole was thicker than the mouse was wide, and he was being too forceful.
Mickey started squealing again, this time even louder, and the man told me not to look. I started crying. I knew he was going to kill the mouse before he managed to free it, and here I was holding the fly paper and letting it happen, because I knew that the faster it was over, the better. The man told me that the mouse got free, and that he ran away. When I turned to look, he told me not too.
Clearly Mickey had not run away.
I walked back in to the office and was so clearly shaken that L came over to see if I was alright and asked if I needed anything. I told her no, I was fine, but at this point there were several more people in the office and I was suddenly embarrassed at being in a room full of people who had just seen me cry over a mouse. And for those who didn't get to see the theatrics of my rodent liberation demonstration, V announced to the office later that day that, "Corinne cried over a mouse!" It was all in good fun, and they were sweet to me about it. But it's only the second day, and already I'm known as weird mouse girl.
I also made my first client contact today and you'll be happy to know that it was awful. I never want to get old.
I have class tomorrow which I'm so grateful for. It's so much happier than being in that office. I had to cancel plans with Janey tonight because I was so worn out, but I did get a lot of reading done. I think I really have to go to bed. I haven't slept well because I've been so anxious, but I'm calmer now that I don't have to go to work until Friday.
L came over to my desk today and asked if one of my jobs as an intern was to catch mice. I asked her what she was talking about, and she informed me that there was a mouse stuck on fly paper (but the kind for roaches) in the kitchen and it was still alive.
I went in, and sure enough, there's the tiniest little gray mouse in the death grip of the most vicious glue you can imagine, struggling to get free but clearly losing his moxie and his will to live.
I told them (it was early, there were only about 4 of us in the office at the time) that I'd take care of it, which took them by surprise. Being an ex-rodent owner, I have no problem with the little guys and wanted to see if I could set him free.
Armed with a Bic pen and the fly paper, I marched little Mickey out to the park where I managed successfully to get his tail free, but wasn't having much luck with the rest of him. One side of his face was glued (quite fatally) to the paper, and the eye on the side facing up was bulging out of it's socket, from what looked like terrible exertion.
As I tried to pry his body free, he started squeaking in pain, and it was at that point that I started on his head and realized that he wasn't getting out of this alive.
A man who had been watching me came over and asked what I was doing. (I'm applying for a library card, sir.) "Trying to free this mouse," I responded. "His eye is bulging."
"Yeah, he's dying. Hold that paper still." The man picked up a wooden pole that was lying in the grass and tried to pry him free with that, but the pole was thicker than the mouse was wide, and he was being too forceful.
Mickey started squealing again, this time even louder, and the man told me not to look. I started crying. I knew he was going to kill the mouse before he managed to free it, and here I was holding the fly paper and letting it happen, because I knew that the faster it was over, the better. The man told me that the mouse got free, and that he ran away. When I turned to look, he told me not too.
Clearly Mickey had not run away.
I walked back in to the office and was so clearly shaken that L came over to see if I was alright and asked if I needed anything. I told her no, I was fine, but at this point there were several more people in the office and I was suddenly embarrassed at being in a room full of people who had just seen me cry over a mouse. And for those who didn't get to see the theatrics of my rodent liberation demonstration, V announced to the office later that day that, "Corinne cried over a mouse!" It was all in good fun, and they were sweet to me about it. But it's only the second day, and already I'm known as weird mouse girl.
I also made my first client contact today and you'll be happy to know that it was awful. I never want to get old.
I have class tomorrow which I'm so grateful for. It's so much happier than being in that office. I had to cancel plans with Janey tonight because I was so worn out, but I did get a lot of reading done. I think I really have to go to bed. I haven't slept well because I've been so anxious, but I'm calmer now that I don't have to go to work until Friday.
I survived!
Well, despite the best efforts of the devil, I managed to survive my first day as a case manager for the elderly. Home visits. Wow. It's wild man. I thought it would be my least favorite part of the job, but as it turns out, it's the most fun and certainly the most fascinating. Going into an older person's home is like stepping through the magical door to Narnia. But once I get used to walking into a stranger's home, sitting down at their kitchen table and finding the politest way to ask if they can still bathe themselves, I'm going to rock it out with the old folks. We are going to have some good times together. This might not be so bad after all.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Starting fresh
Tomorrow is my first day of field work, and I'm incredibly nervous and curious and anxious. I haven't started a new job in a new environment with new people in three years. I feel like a little kid on the eve of the first day of school, but the stakes are so much higher. I know this job will yank me right out of my comfort zone the minute I make my first contact with a client. I think what it all comes down to is that I'm scared. It's hard for me to put myself out there with new people, even in an exchange where I have the upper-hand. I don't know what I'm so afraid of, but I can tell without investigating this fear much further that it's completely superficial and irrational.
I have no idea yet what I'll really be doing, but the framework consists of intake, assessment, home visits and the elderly. I met with my supervisor on Friday and was introduced to the staff. The office scares me a little. It's definitely the picture that pops into your head upon hearing the word "non-profit." It's only about two times the size of my apartment, and everything looks at least 10 years out-of-date. Coming from a four-floor, state of the art law office with a view to die for, it's going to be interesting. My office is the conference room. I hope they at least brew coffee. I'm trying to shift my perspective from anxious to excited, but it's not easy. In the end, the people I will deal with in my new office can't be anywhere near as bad as the people at Milberg. Let me rephrase that. I think the people in my new office will be incredibly warm and helpful as I ease into the mix. They are, after all, social workers.
Anyway, the really exciting news is that I applied and interviewed for a position on the Editorial Board of the Journal of Student Social Work, and was accepted! This is something that I wanted so badly, so that I could continue to use my undergrad work as I grew into the social work profession. I never wanted to let my English degree get dusty, and I'm really greatful for the opportunity to combine the two. In a way, I really feel as though Columbia is making up for my lack of love for James Madison. My undergraduate experience was not what I hoped it would be; I didn't get involved much and stuck to my group of friends. (I got a Lizzie and a Moo out of the deal, so it was worth it in the end!) But now I feel like I've finally found my niche, like this is definitely where I'm supposed to be in my life right now. I love what I'm doing, and aside from the financial stress, I'm really happy with the way things are taking shape.
Plus, I just bought a new pair of maroon boots and adorable red Mary Jane type shoes (but without the strap...so not really Mary Jane-ish at all...) for my foray into the school year. Hot.
Time to read about welfare policy until I fall asleep.
I have no idea yet what I'll really be doing, but the framework consists of intake, assessment, home visits and the elderly. I met with my supervisor on Friday and was introduced to the staff. The office scares me a little. It's definitely the picture that pops into your head upon hearing the word "non-profit." It's only about two times the size of my apartment, and everything looks at least 10 years out-of-date. Coming from a four-floor, state of the art law office with a view to die for, it's going to be interesting. My office is the conference room. I hope they at least brew coffee. I'm trying to shift my perspective from anxious to excited, but it's not easy. In the end, the people I will deal with in my new office can't be anywhere near as bad as the people at Milberg. Let me rephrase that. I think the people in my new office will be incredibly warm and helpful as I ease into the mix. They are, after all, social workers.
Anyway, the really exciting news is that I applied and interviewed for a position on the Editorial Board of the Journal of Student Social Work, and was accepted! This is something that I wanted so badly, so that I could continue to use my undergrad work as I grew into the social work profession. I never wanted to let my English degree get dusty, and I'm really greatful for the opportunity to combine the two. In a way, I really feel as though Columbia is making up for my lack of love for James Madison. My undergraduate experience was not what I hoped it would be; I didn't get involved much and stuck to my group of friends. (I got a Lizzie and a Moo out of the deal, so it was worth it in the end!) But now I feel like I've finally found my niche, like this is definitely where I'm supposed to be in my life right now. I love what I'm doing, and aside from the financial stress, I'm really happy with the way things are taking shape.
Plus, I just bought a new pair of maroon boots and adorable red Mary Jane type shoes (but without the strap...so not really Mary Jane-ish at all...) for my foray into the school year. Hot.
Time to read about welfare policy until I fall asleep.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
We live to hear the slack-jawed gasping
I just keep letting the quirks and nuances of daily life slip through the cracks! Which is probably better for y'all. I've been such a blog truant and I'm sorry. I've received several (2) complaints about my lack of blogging so I'll try harder to get shit out of my head and into cyberspace.
After all, I start school full time tomorrow. This is a whole new phase of my life, I might as well record it. I'll be in classes all day Wednesday, and will have fieldwork with the aging population of the UWS on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays, and my fantastic part-time job will fill in the gaps. Thursdays are free!
But let's get back to this part-time job. It couldn't be more suited to me if I invented it myself. I'd pay myself more, but that's a given. It's off the books, and all I do is Trivial Pursuit-type research on Lexis, and then write up all these funky statistics in the form of quizzes and games and fun trivial facts for various types of publications. I get to work from home, in my PJs, and compile useless trivia while sipping coffee and involuntarily (but quite gainfully!) becoming a Trivial Pursuit guru. My official title can be finally and officially be Reclusive Nerd. I couldn't be happier with this gig.
So, I finished The Unbearable Lightness of Being which I admittedly plowed through while pretty baked. It might be the best (or worst) way to read Orwellian post-Communist political and social philosophy. And for fun, I just flipped through the publishing details and discovered that this book was in fact published in 1984. Coincidence? I enjoyed the book until the end when the dog died and I sat in my living room sobbing through 10 pages. That was a rough ending. For a book about unbearable lightness, this one was pretty f'ing tragic.
And I just want to mention, as an aside, that I was like, totally in the audience of the Ellen season premiere in Central Park. My boy Matty picked me up at 9:30 a.m. and we stood and then sat around all day waiting for the taping to start, only to find out that we were being surprised with a second taping! It was a little tiring and pretty dehydrating but so much fun. Ellen is my hero, and we got to see Justin Timberlake and Beyonce perform, so it was totally worth it. I wasn't really into JT or Beyonce before the show, and yet somehow, since then, my iPod brought sexy back. Yeah...
Alright, my brain needs to go rest up for the next two years of knowledge. Peace!
After all, I start school full time tomorrow. This is a whole new phase of my life, I might as well record it. I'll be in classes all day Wednesday, and will have fieldwork with the aging population of the UWS on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays, and my fantastic part-time job will fill in the gaps. Thursdays are free!
But let's get back to this part-time job. It couldn't be more suited to me if I invented it myself. I'd pay myself more, but that's a given. It's off the books, and all I do is Trivial Pursuit-type research on Lexis, and then write up all these funky statistics in the form of quizzes and games and fun trivial facts for various types of publications. I get to work from home, in my PJs, and compile useless trivia while sipping coffee and involuntarily (but quite gainfully!) becoming a Trivial Pursuit guru. My official title can be finally and officially be Reclusive Nerd. I couldn't be happier with this gig.
So, I finished The Unbearable Lightness of Being which I admittedly plowed through while pretty baked. It might be the best (or worst) way to read Orwellian post-Communist political and social philosophy. And for fun, I just flipped through the publishing details and discovered that this book was in fact published in 1984. Coincidence? I enjoyed the book until the end when the dog died and I sat in my living room sobbing through 10 pages. That was a rough ending. For a book about unbearable lightness, this one was pretty f'ing tragic.
And I just want to mention, as an aside, that I was like, totally in the audience of the Ellen season premiere in Central Park. My boy Matty picked me up at 9:30 a.m. and we stood and then sat around all day waiting for the taping to start, only to find out that we were being surprised with a second taping! It was a little tiring and pretty dehydrating but so much fun. Ellen is my hero, and we got to see Justin Timberlake and Beyonce perform, so it was totally worth it. I wasn't really into JT or Beyonce before the show, and yet somehow, since then, my iPod brought sexy back. Yeah...
Alright, my brain needs to go rest up for the next two years of knowledge. Peace!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Are any of you surprised by this?
These are the results of a poll on my favorite website, CrimeLibrary.com
Is pushing democracy in the Arab world a waste of time?
Yes. 84.35%
No. 11.74%
Don't know. 3.91%
Even though I voted yes, and even though most people are now at least relatively anti-War in Iraq, I was really surprised that a staggering 84% of respondents think spreading democracy in the Arab world is a waste of time. I happen to be of the opinion that spreading American democracy is just one facet of spreading American culture, and therefore geocentric and kind of confusing (culturally and politically) to those on the other end of things. But I was also under the impression that Americans in general are big fans of democracy, and happy to spread it like fairy dust across the planet. Which makes me think that the people who responded to this poll are not necessarily against the idea of spreading democracy in the Arab world, but against our three-year-long and seemingly unending involvement in the Middle East.
Which left me wondering, is CrimeLibrary and/or its readers particularly left-leaning? I read CrimeLibrary every day, and it has never struck me as politically liberal, or politically anything. Just straight facts. It's possible that its readers are largely leftist, but I can't come up with a reason why, since it's affiliated with Court TV, which to me would likely grab the attention of people from across the political spectrum.
Aaaanyway, I'd be interested to get feedback from other people.
Is pushing democracy in the Arab world a waste of time?
Yes. 84.35%
No. 11.74%
Don't know. 3.91%
Even though I voted yes, and even though most people are now at least relatively anti-War in Iraq, I was really surprised that a staggering 84% of respondents think spreading democracy in the Arab world is a waste of time. I happen to be of the opinion that spreading American democracy is just one facet of spreading American culture, and therefore geocentric and kind of confusing (culturally and politically) to those on the other end of things. But I was also under the impression that Americans in general are big fans of democracy, and happy to spread it like fairy dust across the planet. Which makes me think that the people who responded to this poll are not necessarily against the idea of spreading democracy in the Arab world, but against our three-year-long and seemingly unending involvement in the Middle East.
Which left me wondering, is CrimeLibrary and/or its readers particularly left-leaning? I read CrimeLibrary every day, and it has never struck me as politically liberal, or politically anything. Just straight facts. It's possible that its readers are largely leftist, but I can't come up with a reason why, since it's affiliated with Court TV, which to me would likely grab the attention of people from across the political spectrum.
Aaaanyway, I'd be interested to get feedback from other people.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
My Irish blood's a'boilin'
I have a bone to pick with Trader Joe's Wine Store, Union Square, Manhattan.
I am 25 years old, and was carded upon trying to buy three bottles of Two Buck Chuck (of course, in Manhattan it's three bucks). Fine. I understand that. (Technically I COULD pass for under 21, but most people with eyeballs would guess closer to my actual age.) But then I realized I didn't have my licence on me because I thought a bartender had accidentally kept it one night when I had a tab running. Turns out, no, I'm just blind. So upon further inspection of my wallet, I finally found it, and walked pointedly back to the counter, ID in hand. But now, the chick doesn't believe it's me, obviously, and in addition to that, my licence is from New Jersey, and unfortunately, expired. So they still won't let me buy it. They also will not allow My Wife to buy it, even if I'm not present. Suffice it to say, I was not a happy camper.
I'm sure that if anyone's reading this (unless it's My Wife), they're thinking, "It's your own fault for not having a current licence." And to those people, I say "Fuck you!" No, seriously, I understand that part. But the point is, the cashier and the manager knew I was 25, I had valid government ID to back it up, and a supplemental university ID card with my photo, name and birth date on it. But noooo, my supplemental ID had to be government-issued as well. So my question to you is, "What kind of idiot carries around 2 or more forms of government identification?" Yeah, I regularly walk around with my social security card and birth certificate, just in case I've got a bunch of Trader Joe bitches going all Doubting Thomas on my ass.
But what really chaps my ass is the fact that, as a free human being in a free country, I can't have a fucking glass of wine!! 18 year old boys can be sent to fight and die for our country in a frivolous war, but a 25 year-old woman can't drink alcohol? What kind of logic is that? I'm sure if there was a draft and my little brother showed up without his ID they'd still force his ass to spread almighty democracy all over the world. You know what? I'll just go home and toke up on all the grass I bought last night, which was infinitely easier to access than a bottle of wine.
"Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it." - Mark Twain
**Steps off soapbox**
I am 25 years old, and was carded upon trying to buy three bottles of Two Buck Chuck (of course, in Manhattan it's three bucks). Fine. I understand that. (Technically I COULD pass for under 21, but most people with eyeballs would guess closer to my actual age.) But then I realized I didn't have my licence on me because I thought a bartender had accidentally kept it one night when I had a tab running. Turns out, no, I'm just blind. So upon further inspection of my wallet, I finally found it, and walked pointedly back to the counter, ID in hand. But now, the chick doesn't believe it's me, obviously, and in addition to that, my licence is from New Jersey, and unfortunately, expired. So they still won't let me buy it. They also will not allow My Wife to buy it, even if I'm not present. Suffice it to say, I was not a happy camper.
I'm sure that if anyone's reading this (unless it's My Wife), they're thinking, "It's your own fault for not having a current licence." And to those people, I say "Fuck you!" No, seriously, I understand that part. But the point is, the cashier and the manager knew I was 25, I had valid government ID to back it up, and a supplemental university ID card with my photo, name and birth date on it. But noooo, my supplemental ID had to be government-issued as well. So my question to you is, "What kind of idiot carries around 2 or more forms of government identification?" Yeah, I regularly walk around with my social security card and birth certificate, just in case I've got a bunch of Trader Joe bitches going all Doubting Thomas on my ass.
But what really chaps my ass is the fact that, as a free human being in a free country, I can't have a fucking glass of wine!! 18 year old boys can be sent to fight and die for our country in a frivolous war, but a 25 year-old woman can't drink alcohol? What kind of logic is that? I'm sure if there was a draft and my little brother showed up without his ID they'd still force his ass to spread almighty democracy all over the world. You know what? I'll just go home and toke up on all the grass I bought last night, which was infinitely easier to access than a bottle of wine.
"Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it." - Mark Twain
**Steps off soapbox**
Friday, July 14, 2006
Summer Stage
Last night the wife and I went to see Ani DiFranco at SummerStage, after a year-long hiatus from touring. I was really sad when it hit me that I'm no longer all that interested in her specific politics. Her feminist rantings have become hackneyed. She felt the need to define feminism for the crowd, which is the second time I've seen her do this in concert. The people she's speaking to are all women who fully understand the implications of the movement, and vagina-friendly men who know that feminism is about equality of the sexes, and that the definition doesn't even consist of the words woman, female, radical, etc. I understand the need for speaking out for our political priorities, but you're just preaching to the choir, sister!
Anyway, she played a great setlist with some new songs, and I enjoyed the hell out of her cuteness, anyway. But even more than that, I enjoyed one of her opening acts, Toshi Reagon. I heard the voice of an angel as I walked into the venue, only to peer onstage and realize that the source of the voice was nothing like what I was expecting. Nevertheless, I'm totally picking up her CD.
This lady has some serious musical talent. Check her out!
Anyway, she played a great setlist with some new songs, and I enjoyed the hell out of her cuteness, anyway. But even more than that, I enjoyed one of her opening acts, Toshi Reagon. I heard the voice of an angel as I walked into the venue, only to peer onstage and realize that the source of the voice was nothing like what I was expecting. Nevertheless, I'm totally picking up her CD.
This lady has some serious musical talent. Check her out!
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Seriously, folks
My wife just sent me this picture, and I kid you not, there is one of me just like it in one of our family albums. Mine, however, is not censored for child pornography as this one seems to be. I let it all hang out.
Columbine Journals
I know this is old news by now, but I'm just now getting around to writing about it. Personally, I believe that Dylan Klebold's and Eric Harris's parents are, at least in some part, to blame for the 12 deaths and 25 injuries sustained in Littleton that day. I haven't gotten a chance to read the 1,000 pages of journal entries and drawings yet, but I'm in the process of downloading them as I write this. What good parent could have allowed all of this to go on? Why were they not more vigilant? Their sons were filled with 10 lifetimes of anger and hate that no 18-year-old child should have to shoulder. And now with the new information that Eric's parents knew about the pipe bomb building, how could they not have stopped them? How could they not poke around in their own basements to see what their sons were up to? How could they not see how badly their children were hurting? How could they not ask for help?
It's a long time before I'll ever be a parent myself, but I hope that I am more in tune to my children's feelings and needs than Dylan and Eric's parents. I mean, what happened to a mother's instinct? In any event, I'm attaching an article that I read this morning:
Columbine Documents Reveal Gunmen's Anger
Rick SallingerReporting
(CBS4) LITTLETON, Colo. Nearly 1,000 pages of information about the Columbine High School gunmen were released Thursday morning including drawings and journal entries.
The writings of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold revealed the anger they had and the extent of planning that went into their shooting rampage that killed 12 people on April 20, 1999.
Among the documents was a journal kept by Harris' father Wayne Harris. One of his passages read "Brooks Brown is out to get Eric."
Brown was a onetime friend of Klebold and Harris.
"The more I read of what Eric's father wrote the more astounded I am at exactly how poorly he knew his son," Brown said.
Brown and his family have been going through the documents since they were released.
"I think that these writings will still surprise people who are the most jaded and will assume they were full of hate because they say the most evil things," Brooks said. "And the more I read this I go 'God, they were completely off their nut.'"
When Wayne Harris described Eric in his journal, he wrote "idle threats of physical harm, property damage, over reaction to minor incidents."
Brian Rohrbough whose son Daniel was killed in the shootings said something could've been done to prevent the deadly rampage.
"There really is a mountain of red flags and Columbine should have never happened," said Brian Rohrbough whose son Daniel was killed in the shootings. "In my opinion (Wayne) was aware of just how dangerous his son was."
Klebold wrote in a 1998 passage that his parents knew he had been involved with pipe bombs."I never knew until this moment that the Klebolds were aware of the pipe bomb building," said Judy Brown, Brooks' mother.
The documents also showed how the gunmen prepared a minute by minute detail for their attack. In another passage, Klebold wrote "I know I will die soon … so will you and everyone else."
The anger inside Klebold and Harris was also spelled on out on the pages of their yearbooks that read "killing enemies, killing cops and creating hell on earth."
"There are numerous writings where they talk about in some form that they are going to attack the school," Rohrbough said. "There's numerous writings where they talk about how they want to murder innocent people."
The "basement tapes" in which the killers described on video their plans for the attack and the reason behind it, weren't released with the documents. Jefferson County Sheriff Ted Mink thought releasing the tape to the public could inspire copycat violence.
(© MMVI CBS Television Stations, Inc.
It's a long time before I'll ever be a parent myself, but I hope that I am more in tune to my children's feelings and needs than Dylan and Eric's parents. I mean, what happened to a mother's instinct? In any event, I'm attaching an article that I read this morning:
Columbine Documents Reveal Gunmen's Anger
Rick SallingerReporting
(CBS4) LITTLETON, Colo. Nearly 1,000 pages of information about the Columbine High School gunmen were released Thursday morning including drawings and journal entries.
The writings of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold revealed the anger they had and the extent of planning that went into their shooting rampage that killed 12 people on April 20, 1999.
Among the documents was a journal kept by Harris' father Wayne Harris. One of his passages read "Brooks Brown is out to get Eric."
Brown was a onetime friend of Klebold and Harris.
"The more I read of what Eric's father wrote the more astounded I am at exactly how poorly he knew his son," Brown said.
Brown and his family have been going through the documents since they were released.
"I think that these writings will still surprise people who are the most jaded and will assume they were full of hate because they say the most evil things," Brooks said. "And the more I read this I go 'God, they were completely off their nut.'"
When Wayne Harris described Eric in his journal, he wrote "idle threats of physical harm, property damage, over reaction to minor incidents."
Brian Rohrbough whose son Daniel was killed in the shootings said something could've been done to prevent the deadly rampage.
"There really is a mountain of red flags and Columbine should have never happened," said Brian Rohrbough whose son Daniel was killed in the shootings. "In my opinion (Wayne) was aware of just how dangerous his son was."
Klebold wrote in a 1998 passage that his parents knew he had been involved with pipe bombs."I never knew until this moment that the Klebolds were aware of the pipe bomb building," said Judy Brown, Brooks' mother.
The documents also showed how the gunmen prepared a minute by minute detail for their attack. In another passage, Klebold wrote "I know I will die soon … so will you and everyone else."
The anger inside Klebold and Harris was also spelled on out on the pages of their yearbooks that read "killing enemies, killing cops and creating hell on earth."
"There are numerous writings where they talk about in some form that they are going to attack the school," Rohrbough said. "There's numerous writings where they talk about how they want to murder innocent people."
The "basement tapes" in which the killers described on video their plans for the attack and the reason behind it, weren't released with the documents. Jefferson County Sheriff Ted Mink thought releasing the tape to the public could inspire copycat violence.
(© MMVI CBS Television Stations, Inc.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
How to Deal With Being in Prison
I found this on WikiHow.
You broke the law and after a trial, you were found guilty and given prison time. You will spend most of your time in a locked building with people that have done as bad or worse than you. If you behave, it might go easier on you. Nonetheless, you will have to make the best of it if you are going to survive.
Steps
1. Do not cry, show fear, or a vulnerability publicly. Doing so will quickly make you a target for other prisoners.
2. Learn to play spades, chess, or hoops as it makes the time go by faster.
3. Get a prison job which will keep you occupied as the days pass by. 0
4. Read a lot. They have a library there so use it. Catch up on your reading.
5. Consider writing as well. Letters to friends and family, fictional short-stories, and poetry can make time pass a bit faster.
6. Brace yourself for the social dynamics of prison. There are certain ways to behave towards others if you want to get by:
--Do not become a 'punk' (girlfriend). While becoming a punk might give you some fleeting, temporary protection from other inmates, you will be a virtual slave to one. Punks are used and abused. They are traded away in card games and sold for cigarettes. It is not a path to long term survival in prison.
--Do not snitch. If you see something illegal or violent, walk away and do not divulge any information if questioned later. Being known as a snitch will make bad things happen to you. (Of course, you have to decide whether your fellow inmates or the authorities are more dangerous. If you're questioned and lie to the jailkeepers, you can get in serious legal trouble.)
--Stick up for yourself or you will be turned into a punk. It's better to get into a fight and lose than to be seen cowering or placating. Your reputation is more important than your desire to avoid pain, so guard it with your life. Ultimately you should avoid any confrontation if you can, but if you can't avoid one, react quickly and with aggression.
--Stay to yourself, keep your mouth shut and don't tell anyone about your personal life or family. Do not discuss either religion or politics. In other words, don't put your business out on the street. At the same time, don't get involved in other inmate's business.
7. Recognize that nights are the worst. You will miss your family, and freedom. You will probably cry, so stifle it into your pillow so no one will hear.
Tips
--Tear up the return address from your incoming mail. Other inmates will write to your friends and family if given a chance.
--Don't get caught up in a jailhouse romance. The last thing you need is to be getting involved in a relationship.
Warnings
--Do not admit or discuss any crime against a minor. Child molesters, abusers and murderers are considered the lowest forms of life in prison and subject to frequent attacks. If you are convicted of a crime against a child, insist on being placed in Protective Custody immediately. You won't be able to hide the nature of your crime in a general population prison for long. You risk your life when (not if) other prisoners find out.
--Do not gamble, unless you can pay your debts. They will use violence and stop at almost nothing to get what is due to them.
--Remember, you are in a house of thieves and liars, and should not believe very much of anything you hear. Do not trust other inmates except in cases where there would not be serious consequences for doing so. I.e. make careful choices regarding your "friends" and your location at any given moment of the day.
--Avoid drug use in prison. Drugs use while providing a temporary escape will lead to other problems.
You broke the law and after a trial, you were found guilty and given prison time. You will spend most of your time in a locked building with people that have done as bad or worse than you. If you behave, it might go easier on you. Nonetheless, you will have to make the best of it if you are going to survive.
Steps
1. Do not cry, show fear, or a vulnerability publicly. Doing so will quickly make you a target for other prisoners.
2. Learn to play spades, chess, or hoops as it makes the time go by faster.
3. Get a prison job which will keep you occupied as the days pass by. 0
4. Read a lot. They have a library there so use it. Catch up on your reading.
5. Consider writing as well. Letters to friends and family, fictional short-stories, and poetry can make time pass a bit faster.
6. Brace yourself for the social dynamics of prison. There are certain ways to behave towards others if you want to get by:
--Do not become a 'punk' (girlfriend). While becoming a punk might give you some fleeting, temporary protection from other inmates, you will be a virtual slave to one. Punks are used and abused. They are traded away in card games and sold for cigarettes. It is not a path to long term survival in prison.
--Do not snitch. If you see something illegal or violent, walk away and do not divulge any information if questioned later. Being known as a snitch will make bad things happen to you. (Of course, you have to decide whether your fellow inmates or the authorities are more dangerous. If you're questioned and lie to the jailkeepers, you can get in serious legal trouble.)
--Stick up for yourself or you will be turned into a punk. It's better to get into a fight and lose than to be seen cowering or placating. Your reputation is more important than your desire to avoid pain, so guard it with your life. Ultimately you should avoid any confrontation if you can, but if you can't avoid one, react quickly and with aggression.
--Stay to yourself, keep your mouth shut and don't tell anyone about your personal life or family. Do not discuss either religion or politics. In other words, don't put your business out on the street. At the same time, don't get involved in other inmate's business.
7. Recognize that nights are the worst. You will miss your family, and freedom. You will probably cry, so stifle it into your pillow so no one will hear.
Tips
--Tear up the return address from your incoming mail. Other inmates will write to your friends and family if given a chance.
--Don't get caught up in a jailhouse romance. The last thing you need is to be getting involved in a relationship.
Warnings
--Do not admit or discuss any crime against a minor. Child molesters, abusers and murderers are considered the lowest forms of life in prison and subject to frequent attacks. If you are convicted of a crime against a child, insist on being placed in Protective Custody immediately. You won't be able to hide the nature of your crime in a general population prison for long. You risk your life when (not if) other prisoners find out.
--Do not gamble, unless you can pay your debts. They will use violence and stop at almost nothing to get what is due to them.
--Remember, you are in a house of thieves and liars, and should not believe very much of anything you hear. Do not trust other inmates except in cases where there would not be serious consequences for doing so. I.e. make careful choices regarding your "friends" and your location at any given moment of the day.
--Avoid drug use in prison. Drugs use while providing a temporary escape will lead to other problems.
Friday, June 23, 2006
No DP in NJ
New Jersey halts all executions!
In January, New Jersey lawmakers passed legislation requiring an immediate moratorium on all executions in the state and the creation of a study commission to examine the state’s death penalty system. This is the first time in U.S. history that a state has enacted legislation imposing a moratorium on the death penalty.
The 13- member study commission will have until November 15, 2006 to report its findings. All executions will be suspended while the study is being conducted. There are currently 10 people on New Jersey’s death row. No executions have taken place since 1963.
New Jersey now joins Illinois as the only states with a moratorium on executions. In Illinois, a moratorium was imposed by Governor George Ryan in 2000 and has been upheld ever since.
This victory in New Jersey should give confidence to abolitionists nationwide that they can fight--and win--a moratorium on executions in their own states. On to abolition!
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Women in Prison
Prison: The Link Between Incarceration and Violence
Over 90% of women in prison have experienced violence int heir lives. (Women in Prison Project, 2005)
One-third of incarcerated women report child sexual abuse and 20% to 34% report abuse by an adult intimate partner; they have multiple abuse histories and are three to four times more likely than male prisoners to have abuse histories. (Gilfus, Mary. “Women’s Experiences of Abuse as a Risk Factor for Incarceration.” VAWnet Applied Research Forum. (December 2002)
An estimated 56% of the abused women in prison said that their abuse had included a rape, and another 13% reported an attempted rape. (Trace L. Snell, Women in Prison, Survey of State Prison Inmates, 1991. Bureau of Statistics: March 1994, p.6.)
The women in prison who reported abuse were more likely to be in prison for a violent offense (42% reported prior abuse) and less likely to be serving a sentence for a drug offense (25%) or a property offense (25%). (Tracy L. Snell, Women in Prison, Survey of State Prison Inmates, 1991 Bureau of Justice Statistics: March 1994, p.6)
As many as 90% of the women in jail today for killing men had been battered by those men. (Allison Bass, “Women far less likely to kill than men; no one sure why,” The Boston Globe, February 24, 1992, p. 2)
Over 90% of women in prison have experienced violence int heir lives. (Women in Prison Project, 2005)
One-third of incarcerated women report child sexual abuse and 20% to 34% report abuse by an adult intimate partner; they have multiple abuse histories and are three to four times more likely than male prisoners to have abuse histories. (Gilfus, Mary. “Women’s Experiences of Abuse as a Risk Factor for Incarceration.” VAWnet Applied Research Forum. (December 2002)
An estimated 56% of the abused women in prison said that their abuse had included a rape, and another 13% reported an attempted rape. (Trace L. Snell, Women in Prison, Survey of State Prison Inmates, 1991. Bureau of Statistics: March 1994, p.6.)
The women in prison who reported abuse were more likely to be in prison for a violent offense (42% reported prior abuse) and less likely to be serving a sentence for a drug offense (25%) or a property offense (25%). (Tracy L. Snell, Women in Prison, Survey of State Prison Inmates, 1991 Bureau of Justice Statistics: March 1994, p.6)
As many as 90% of the women in jail today for killing men had been battered by those men. (Allison Bass, “Women far less likely to kill than men; no one sure why,” The Boston Globe, February 24, 1992, p. 2)
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Miami Beach!
I know, I sound so sophomoric and Kappa Phi right now, but at least we're not going over spring break! We'll probably come back 10 lbs. lighter after frying in the sun in mid-July, but I'm down. I don't plan on getting out of the pool/ocean long enough to care. All I need is my bikini, my sun block, a book and some liquor. Seriously, I think I'm just taking a carry-on. The wife and I just booked our trip to the resort below from July 23rd-26th.
Now all that's left to figure out is... Who is going to take care of our kitties??
Now all that's left to figure out is... Who is going to take care of our kitties??
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Little girl: Keep your legs closed and your books open. My mommy says a girl can get a boyfriend and then she has to drop out of school.
--uptown A train
Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer?
Test your serial killer moxie with this quiz! It's harder than you'd think...http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/
Ringling Brothers leave trash behind
Woman Cited for Exposing Herself in Store
By Associated Press
June 10, 2006, 9:28 PM EDT
CEDAR CITY, Utah — A 28-year-old woman has been cited for lewdness for exposing herself inside a store. The woman was riding a motorized cart inside Lin's Market Place on Thursday with her pants around her ankles and not wearing underwear.
Customers didn't notice the woman until she would stand up from the cart and bend over to look at items on the shelf, exposing her buttocks.
The woman told police she arrived in Cedar City with a circus but was left behind.
By Associated Press
June 10, 2006, 9:28 PM EDT
CEDAR CITY, Utah — A 28-year-old woman has been cited for lewdness for exposing herself inside a store. The woman was riding a motorized cart inside Lin's Market Place on Thursday with her pants around her ankles and not wearing underwear.
Customers didn't notice the woman until she would stand up from the cart and bend over to look at items on the shelf, exposing her buttocks.
The woman told police she arrived in Cedar City with a circus but was left behind.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Short week!
Well, I'm back to work. But, the silver lining is that I'm only back for 3 1/2 days. You see, our water was shut off this weekend, forcing us to subsist in primitive living conditions for a good part of it. I dealt with the FDNY, NYPD, my super, my landlord, the apartment management company and about 5 other incensed tenants. Our management company is too cheap to send a plumber out on weekends or holidays, so we all had to let our shit pile up in the toilet and walk around with grimy teeth for two days. It was absolutely disgusting. Not to mention that the temperature around here is now in the 80's and wifey and I have yet to purchase our air conditioners (which we're doing after work tomorrow.) Anyway, there was no way I was coming into work looking and smelling like I did this morning, OCD working overtime and my skin stickier than a high-end lint brush. I had to wait for them to turn the water back on this morning, so I didn't get in until noon-thirty. I haven't felt any real allegiance to my job in months, so I'm not too concerned about being here and doing work anymore. Especially since now even my boss is jumping ship.
I finally watched Crash yesterday, too. It's amazing to me how such a shitty cast can win an Academy Award for Best Movie, but that's what race relations will do for you. I mean, it was either Homosexuality with a capital H, or Race with a capital R. I guess the world wasn't ready for Brokeback. It was a good movie, kept my attention, and certainly a lot of thought was put into the interweaving plotlines, but it was WAY too convenient. Also, it addressed mostly overt racism, and not institutionalized racism, which is trickier and far less acknowledged. But, I mean, when you take off the benevolent mask of the "mixing bowl" or "salad bowl" or whatever metaphor is in vogue, Crash is exactly what is left festering beneath the surface. It's an exaggeration, but that doesn't make it any less real. It made me want to get back into the habit of keeping current on my movie watching.
I've got class tonight, which means I'm out of here at 5:30. Our research group has decided to focus on MICA (Mentally Ill and Chemically Addicted) but there is a startling lack of groundwork laid out upon which to build our own projnect. It's really fascinating, nonetheless. I cannot wait to start my fieldwork - even though I'll be nervous as hell - and to be in class full time. Thursdays free won't be too bad, either. I'll just try and pick up part-time work somewhere to support my vices.
3 1/2 more hours until I can leave!! That seems like ages from now... Maybe I'll pick up some soup before class... or maybe it's too hot for that... OK, I'm going back to studying.
I finally watched Crash yesterday, too. It's amazing to me how such a shitty cast can win an Academy Award for Best Movie, but that's what race relations will do for you. I mean, it was either Homosexuality with a capital H, or Race with a capital R. I guess the world wasn't ready for Brokeback. It was a good movie, kept my attention, and certainly a lot of thought was put into the interweaving plotlines, but it was WAY too convenient. Also, it addressed mostly overt racism, and not institutionalized racism, which is trickier and far less acknowledged. But, I mean, when you take off the benevolent mask of the "mixing bowl" or "salad bowl" or whatever metaphor is in vogue, Crash is exactly what is left festering beneath the surface. It's an exaggeration, but that doesn't make it any less real. It made me want to get back into the habit of keeping current on my movie watching.
I've got class tonight, which means I'm out of here at 5:30. Our research group has decided to focus on MICA (Mentally Ill and Chemically Addicted) but there is a startling lack of groundwork laid out upon which to build our own projnect. It's really fascinating, nonetheless. I cannot wait to start my fieldwork - even though I'll be nervous as hell - and to be in class full time. Thursdays free won't be too bad, either. I'll just try and pick up part-time work somewhere to support my vices.
3 1/2 more hours until I can leave!! That seems like ages from now... Maybe I'll pick up some soup before class... or maybe it's too hot for that... OK, I'm going back to studying.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Age-long question answered!!
Which came first: the chicken or the egg? Turns out - IT WAS THE EGG!!LONDON, England -- It's a question that has baffled scientists, academics and pub bores through the ages: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Now a team made up of a geneticist, philosopher and chicken farmer claim to have found an answer. It was the egg.
Put simply, the reason is down to the fact that genetic material does not change during an animal's life.
Therefore the first bird that evolved into what we would call a chicken, probably in prehistoric times, must have first existed as an embryo inside an egg.
Professor John Brookfield, a specialist in evolutionary genetics at the University of Nottingham, told the UK Press Association the pecking order was clear.
The living organism inside the eggshell would have had the same DNA as the chicken it would develop into, he said.
"Therefore, the first living thing which we could say unequivocally was a member of the species would be this first egg," he added. "So, I would conclude that the egg came first."
The same conclusion was reached by his fellow "eggsperts" Professor David Papineau, of King's College London, and poultry farmer Charles Bourns.
Mr Papineau, an expert in the philosophy of science, agreed that the first chicken came from an egg and that proves there were chicken eggs before chickens.
He told PA people were mistaken if they argued that the mutant egg belonged to the "non-chicken" bird parents.
"I would argue it is a chicken egg if it has a chicken in it," he said.
"If a kangaroo laid an egg from which an ostrich hatched, that would surely be an ostrich egg, not a kangaroo egg."
Bourns, chairman of trade body Great British Chicken, said he was also firmly in the pro-egg camp.
He said: "Eggs were around long before the first chicken arrived. Of course, they may not have been chicken eggs as we see them today, but they were eggs."
The debate, which may come as a relief to those with argumentative relatives, was organized by Disney to promote the release of the film "Chicken Little" on DVD
If you mess with the bull, you're gonna get the horns
R.I.P. Paul Gleason!!The principal from The Breakfast Club passed away Saturday from a rare lung cancer caused by asbestos. This is sad news for any John Hughes fanatic. I don't even know what I'm going to do with myself today.
Maybe raid Barry Manilow's wardrobe...?
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Overheard at Columbia University, Take II
In the words of Kumar of Harold and Kumar, "What the fuck kind of Ivy League university is this??"
Guy: I said to myself 'he's never going to make it', he's a drug freak, he has three STDs. But you proved me wrong, my friend.
--Columbia Journalism School Graduation Reception
Girl #1: Okay, I got it! We should all do coke for Melissa's birthday!
Long pause.
Girl #2: Uhhhh, no.
Girl #1: I meant that as a joke...ehhh, I think. I mean who would actually suggest that? [under her breath] Awww, damn.
--Columbia
Columbia girl: I can't believe the 1 is skipping all the stops from 96th to 145th.
Guy: I know. You'll have to transfer at 145th for the downtown.
Subway stops at 145th.
Columbia girl: Is this where Manhattan ends?
Girl #1: That Major English Texts class is ridiculous. You had to memorize soo
much.
Girl #2: You're not even in that class! I'm in that class...so I would know. You shouldn't be complaining!
Girl #1: I'm the TA, asshole.
--Columbia University
Friday, May 19, 2006
My litany of complaints
Thank God for a beer and a J because this past hour was trifling!!
First, I walked 7 blocks to Duane Reade, only to find out that the pharmacist at my normal DR completely fucked me over by transferring my prescription without telling me. So I had to walk back 7 more blocks without having accomplished what I set out to do. And in addition to that, the DR where my prescription is now being held (and where I will be in the vicinity of tomorrow) isn't open on the weekends. Thank God my doctor gave me a couple bottles of samples to tide me over, otherwise this would be a very, very difficult weekend of withdrawal, a day-long date with Cory on Saturday and a Sunday of working at the Hindenburg of law firms. That's right, the company that signs my paychecks was indicted by the Federal Goverment today on charges of money laundering, tax evasion and racketeering, among a handful of other charges that I can't even remember. Anyway, we're about to go down like Enron and Arthur Andersen. Although, unlike the Titanic, where all the rich escaped unscathed, it's the expendable, peon staff members like myself who will be watching the rest of them go down with the ship, as we sail off peacefully in little rowboats called Law School, Defense Firm or for me, CUSSW. And hey, I hear we get bonuses for sticking around, so, Woot Woot!! This is like my dream come true. I can't lose! If they fire me or I get laid off, I just collect unemployment until I start school in the Fall. If they keep me, they give me money to stay with them as they take swings at this lawsuit. I'm pretty much between a pillow and a beach here, so to speak...
Anyway, disappointed with my lack of success at DR, I decided to fill my belly with some good hippie fare, because I had a craving for asparagus and granola (and no, I can't be pregnant because I haven't had sex in two months, thank you very much). But of course, all three of the grocery stores within a 7 block radius of my house were not in the business of selling either one of those items today. Why? Because I live in the ghetto. I'm lucky if I can find a banana around here.
So on the way home, the homeless guy (not homeless homeless, he has a place to stay I think - he was well dressed, well spoken and clearly sober...he says his shelter burned down) who gave me such a guilt trip the first time he stopped me that I came home and cried, stopped me for the third time tonight with the same story he had the last two times, only now I know it's just his game, because when I tried to give him money last time, he rolled his eyes at me and gave me a "what, that's it?" look, and then tried to give it back to me, saying he wanted me to go to the store and buy him baby formula with my credit card. Yeah, it's 11:00 at night, I'm going to go walking off with a perfect stranger in the middle of the night in Harlem. I couldn't believe how rude he was to me.
And before I even left for the DR, my crackhead next door neighbor comes pounding on my door asking for $20. What??
There are so many things I love about where I live, but people asking me for money CONSTANTLY is not one of them. And I don't mean to sound like a Republican here. I'd like to clarify that I typically carry change and singles in my pockets at all times because I DO get asked so much, and I really do want to help. But there's something about me I think (my ex said it's because I have a kind face and my mom says it's because I "look like a social worker") that makes me a constant target. It's rare that a day goes by that I don't get asked for money, and most days I'm asked several times, so my complaint is only that I can't enjoy a short walk to the store without being stopped and asked for something that I don't have. But if that's my Achilles' Heel, it's only because I'm so blessed, and I truly am grateful for the privaleges that I have.
Anyway, I'm even annoying myself, so I'm going to get back to my game of poker, get this cat off me and try to find some food. Peace!
First, I walked 7 blocks to Duane Reade, only to find out that the pharmacist at my normal DR completely fucked me over by transferring my prescription without telling me. So I had to walk back 7 more blocks without having accomplished what I set out to do. And in addition to that, the DR where my prescription is now being held (and where I will be in the vicinity of tomorrow) isn't open on the weekends. Thank God my doctor gave me a couple bottles of samples to tide me over, otherwise this would be a very, very difficult weekend of withdrawal, a day-long date with Cory on Saturday and a Sunday of working at the Hindenburg of law firms. That's right, the company that signs my paychecks was indicted by the Federal Goverment today on charges of money laundering, tax evasion and racketeering, among a handful of other charges that I can't even remember. Anyway, we're about to go down like Enron and Arthur Andersen. Although, unlike the Titanic, where all the rich escaped unscathed, it's the expendable, peon staff members like myself who will be watching the rest of them go down with the ship, as we sail off peacefully in little rowboats called Law School, Defense Firm or for me, CUSSW. And hey, I hear we get bonuses for sticking around, so, Woot Woot!! This is like my dream come true. I can't lose! If they fire me or I get laid off, I just collect unemployment until I start school in the Fall. If they keep me, they give me money to stay with them as they take swings at this lawsuit. I'm pretty much between a pillow and a beach here, so to speak...
Anyway, disappointed with my lack of success at DR, I decided to fill my belly with some good hippie fare, because I had a craving for asparagus and granola (and no, I can't be pregnant because I haven't had sex in two months, thank you very much). But of course, all three of the grocery stores within a 7 block radius of my house were not in the business of selling either one of those items today. Why? Because I live in the ghetto. I'm lucky if I can find a banana around here.
So on the way home, the homeless guy (not homeless homeless, he has a place to stay I think - he was well dressed, well spoken and clearly sober...he says his shelter burned down) who gave me such a guilt trip the first time he stopped me that I came home and cried, stopped me for the third time tonight with the same story he had the last two times, only now I know it's just his game, because when I tried to give him money last time, he rolled his eyes at me and gave me a "what, that's it?" look, and then tried to give it back to me, saying he wanted me to go to the store and buy him baby formula with my credit card. Yeah, it's 11:00 at night, I'm going to go walking off with a perfect stranger in the middle of the night in Harlem. I couldn't believe how rude he was to me.
And before I even left for the DR, my crackhead next door neighbor comes pounding on my door asking for $20. What??
There are so many things I love about where I live, but people asking me for money CONSTANTLY is not one of them. And I don't mean to sound like a Republican here. I'd like to clarify that I typically carry change and singles in my pockets at all times because I DO get asked so much, and I really do want to help. But there's something about me I think (my ex said it's because I have a kind face and my mom says it's because I "look like a social worker") that makes me a constant target. It's rare that a day goes by that I don't get asked for money, and most days I'm asked several times, so my complaint is only that I can't enjoy a short walk to the store without being stopped and asked for something that I don't have. But if that's my Achilles' Heel, it's only because I'm so blessed, and I truly am grateful for the privaleges that I have.
Anyway, I'm even annoying myself, so I'm going to get back to my game of poker, get this cat off me and try to find some food. Peace!
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
David Blaine sucks
Even Blaine, MO is more fascinating than his pruney ass. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, he'd been in a human-sized fish bowl for the past 7 days. Which is fitting, since David is about as intelligent and captivating as a goldfish. And I'm talking about those .99 cent goldfish that you buy in the shit-caked communal tank at PetCo or win at the carnival. Not even one of those cool $3 goldfish with the bubble heads.
In any event, following his 7 day stint as a swimming embarrassment to NYC, he attempted to break the world breath-holding record of 8 minutes and 58 seconds. He wanted to make it to 9 minutes, but the douche-bag pussied out and barely made it past 7 minutes. Shit, I've held my breath longer during autoeroticism.
Here's a picture of his goofy ass right before the paramedics decided to let him live. This just in: You're not Jesus Christ. You don't get to be a martyr in this lifetime by shrivelling up like uterine lining and swimming around in a womb-like sphere for seven days.
And because I hate him so much, here are some Overheard Blaine quotes for y'all:
In any event, following his 7 day stint as a swimming embarrassment to NYC, he attempted to break the world breath-holding record of 8 minutes and 58 seconds. He wanted to make it to 9 minutes, but the douche-bag pussied out and barely made it past 7 minutes. Shit, I've held my breath longer during autoeroticism.
Here's a picture of his goofy ass right before the paramedics decided to let him live. This just in: You're not Jesus Christ. You don't get to be a martyr in this lifetime by shrivelling up like uterine lining and swimming around in a womb-like sphere for seven days.And because I hate him so much, here are some Overheard Blaine quotes for y'all:
Man: This is stupid...and incredibly boring.
David Blaine: Hey, I can hear you!
--Lincoln Center
A guy and girl approach a sleeping David Blaine in his bubble.
Security guard: Hands of the glass, sir.
Guy: It's okay, it's okay...I just wanna talk to him.
Guy and girl, putting both hands on glass: WAKE UP DAVID BLAINE!
Security guard: Exit! Exit!
--Lincoln Center
Monday, May 08, 2006
Overheard at Columbia University
Welcome to my special edition of Overheard in New York Quote of the Day. This is in tribute to all the ivy league dumbasses I go to school
with:
with:
Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.
--College Walk, Columbia University
Girl #1: I heard Columbia Snacks is actually a pot service.
Girl #2: What, like they sell weed and stuff?
Girl #1: No, pots for dorm plants. Yeah, weed, girl. They just want to up the GPA here.
Girl #2: Huh?
Girl #1: Don't you know weed boosts your smarts? It's a proven fact that weed makes you dumber the day after. But it's also proven that it makes you much much smarter the day after that.
--Columbia University
Guy: Dude, have you ever tried to jack of twice in 20 minutes?
--Columbia University
Girl #1: My brother's started taking marijuana and I'm worried cause he's only 17.
Girl #2: I'm so anti-drugs because my dad's brother died of a drug overdose.
Girl #1: Was it a marijuana overdose?
--Columbia University
Girl #1: I just got waxed. Feel my legs, they're sooo soft.
Girl #2: Ooohhh. Sooo smooth.
Girl #1: Yeah, you should feel my cooch.
--Columbia University
Chick #1: Ahh! Why am I, like, sweating?
Chick #2: What is your shirt made of, cotton?
Chick #1: Well, it's from Forever 21, so it's probably dead Chinese children.
--Columbia University
Workout chick: Don't worry, your standards are just off because you dated a fetus. Want some ice cream?
--Columbia University
Girl #1: Okay, what should I get? The Gombee burger sounds good. Hey, that kinda sounds like Gandhi...except he probably wouldn't want to eat the burger. Remember that time he was on that hunger strike?
Girl #2: Aren't cows like, sacred to Hindus or something?
Girl #1: Oh! That's probably why he wouldn't have wanted to eat it.
--Columbia University
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Girl #1: So he was at my house and we were like, fooling around on my bed, and I was lying on top of him, but then I made him get up.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Because if he got turned on, got hard, came, his zipper fell down a little and some come got on my pants and while I was taking off my pants it brushed my underwear and then went inside me, I could totally get pregnant.
Girl #2: Oh, right.
--84th & 2nd
Registering for class!
I just finished registering for the Fall semester, and thankfully, I got all the classes I wanted, at all the times I wanted and with all the professors I wanted. So, I'll be working in the field M/T/F and taking classes on Wednesday only. Which means I have Thursdays free to study or find a part-time job! Very exciting! So my Wednesday schedule looks like the following:
Social Welfare Policy 10-11:50
Practice in Alcoholism & Chemical Dependency 2-3:50
Foundations of Social Work 4:10-7:10
I'm really excited to take the Alcoholism & Chemical Dependency class, which is basically the reason I came to grad school in the first place. Funnily enough, it's no longer the kind of counseling I want to do, but I think it will be helpful nonetheless. I think something crazy like 80% of incarcerated people have alcohol or drug dependency issues.
Social Welfare Policy 10-11:50
Practice in Alcoholism & Chemical Dependency 2-3:50
Foundations of Social Work 4:10-7:10
I'm really excited to take the Alcoholism & Chemical Dependency class, which is basically the reason I came to grad school in the first place. Funnily enough, it's no longer the kind of counseling I want to do, but I think it will be helpful nonetheless. I think something crazy like 80% of incarcerated people have alcohol or drug dependency issues.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
African-American student: Later Mr. B, stay white and don't let the black man bite!
Mr. B: Ok, Alex, stay black and don't take my wallet.
--NYC Lab School
Song of the Day
Damien Jurado - Letters and Drawings
I mean, he's kind of a fatass, but I'd still hit that shit. Everyone knows I love a teddy bear.
I mean, he's kind of a fatass, but I'd still hit that shit. Everyone knows I love a teddy bear.
I'm baaaaack...
So, after a short reprieve wherein I completed my first year of graduate school, I'm back to the blog, baby! And I have a great story for you this morning...nice little tid-bit to welcome me back.
I was standing in the elevator bank this morning listening to my Pod, when a suit walks into the bank and promptly drops his venti, or grande, or whatever the shit means a "large" CharFucks coffee on the floor, splattering it all over himself. My better half felt bad for the guy, while the bigger part of me was like, "Great, now I have to figure out a way not to laugh at his ass for 50 floors." **BING** The elevator doors open and, pretending like I don't see the huge oil spill, step over it and into the elevator. Then the guy says, "That's alright, I hate Starbucks anyway." A woman responds with, "Why? Too corporate?" and he replies, "No, too expensive." Well then why the fuck weren't you more careful with your precious $15 coffee?? Idiot.
I was standing in the elevator bank this morning listening to my Pod, when a suit walks into the bank and promptly drops his venti, or grande, or whatever the shit means a "large" CharFucks coffee on the floor, splattering it all over himself. My better half felt bad for the guy, while the bigger part of me was like, "Great, now I have to figure out a way not to laugh at his ass for 50 floors." **BING** The elevator doors open and, pretending like I don't see the huge oil spill, step over it and into the elevator. Then the guy says, "That's alright, I hate Starbucks anyway." A woman responds with, "Why? Too corporate?" and he replies, "No, too expensive." Well then why the fuck weren't you more careful with your precious $15 coffee?? Idiot.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Ice-T
I JUST SAW HIM!!
That's all, really. He's short, as expected. No more jerry curls, thank God. He rocked a sleek pony tail. He was shooting a scene in our hallway, so half the office is hovering near the conference room staring. Anyway, he's a cutie.
That's all, really. He's short, as expected. No more jerry curls, thank God. He rocked a sleek pony tail. He was shooting a scene in our hallway, so half the office is hovering near the conference room staring. Anyway, he's a cutie.
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
In honor of Suri Cruise...
Girl #1: Oh my god! I just heard that Katie Holmes had her baby! Katie Holmes had her baby, everyone!
Girl #2: Xenu commands you to shut the fuck up while I'm on the phone with my dealer.
--6th Avenue & West 4th Street
Oh, actors...
It is just mayhem here!! The cast and crew have usurped half of our floor, and there are about 50 extras dressed as lawyers hanging around in one of the conference rooms. Some nice eye candy though. Poor, struggling actor eye candy. But eye candy nonetheless.
Unfortunately, I've been informed that Chris Meloni will not be filming in our office, but downstairs at the Tracks restaurant in Penn Station. I'd gawker.stalker this, but George Clooney might hunt me down for revealing a celebrity location before they even arrive. And anyway, I'll just pass by Tracks on my way home, and hopefully sneak a peek at my celeb paramour.
However, Ice-T will be filming in our office, and should be here shortly. Our secretary is going to jump his bones.
As for me, I'll be going to a launch party tonight for the Columbia School of Social Work Journal, in which my Janey was published! And her being published means free drinks and food for me for two hours at the Amsterdam Cafe! Yay!
Friday I have my first date since the breakup. I'm really excited, because this dude is quite a cutie, and seems really nice. So we'll see. That's all for now. Except Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had their baby, and the world didn't blow up. Should we be worried about the evil overlord Xenu, though?
Unfortunately, I've been informed that Chris Meloni will not be filming in our office, but downstairs at the Tracks restaurant in Penn Station. I'd gawker.stalker this, but George Clooney might hunt me down for revealing a celebrity location before they even arrive. And anyway, I'll just pass by Tracks on my way home, and hopefully sneak a peek at my celeb paramour.
However, Ice-T will be filming in our office, and should be here shortly. Our secretary is going to jump his bones.
As for me, I'll be going to a launch party tonight for the Columbia School of Social Work Journal, in which my Janey was published! And her being published means free drinks and food for me for two hours at the Amsterdam Cafe! Yay!
Friday I have my first date since the breakup. I'm really excited, because this dude is quite a cutie, and seems really nice. So we'll see. That's all for now. Except Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had their baby, and the world didn't blow up. Should we be worried about the evil overlord Xenu, though?
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Because this one was fitting in light of my last post...
And I'm adding this one as well, because I SWEAR this was a conversation between Dan and I one day when we met for drinks by his office:
Yuppie lady: Excuse me! I've been calling for someone and waiting in aisle 2 for ten minutes, and no one came! This is ridiculous! You people are incompetent! You have things stacked so they fall! Look at my pants!
Black woman: ...So why are you telling me?
Yuppie lady: Because you work here!
Black woman: No, lady...I don't.
--Gristedes, West 64th Street
And I'm adding this one as well, because I SWEAR this was a conversation between Dan and I one day when we met for drinks by his office:
Girl: Wow! Did you see the rack on her?
Guy: Where?
Girl: Over there...
Guy: Man! You're not kidding!
Girl: See what I do for you? Who's the best girlfriend ever?
--Rockefeller Center
Omaha school district to split along racial lines
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) -- In a move decried by some as state-sponsored segregation, the Legislature voted Thursday to divide the Omaha school system into three districts -- one mostly black, one predominantly white and one largely Hispanic.
Supporters said the plan would give minorities control over their own school board and ensure that their children are not shortchanged in favor of white youngsters.
Republican Gov. Dave Heineman signed the measure into law.
Omaha Sen. Pat Bourne decried the bill, saying, "We will go down in history as one of the first states in 20 years to set race relations back."
"History will not, and should not, judge us kindly," said Sen. Gwen Howard of Omaha.
Attorney General Jon Bruning sent a letter to one of the measure's opponents saying that the bill could be in violation of the Constitution's equal-protection clause and that lawsuits almost certainly will be filed.
But its backers said that at the very least, its passage will force policymakers to negotiate seriously about the future of schools in the Omaha area.
The breakup would not occur until July 2008, leaving time for lawmakers to come up with another idea.
"There is no intent to create segregation," said Omaha Sen. Ernie Chambers, the Legislature's only black senator and a longtime critic of the school system.
He argued that the district is already segregated, because it no longer buses students for integration and instead requires them to attend their neighborhood school.
Chambers said the schools attended largely by minorities lack the resources and quality teachers provided others in the district. He said the black students he represents in north Omaha would receive a better education if they had more control over their district.
Coming from Chambers, the argument was especially persuasive to the rest of the Legislature, which voted three times this week in favor of the bill before it won final passage on the last day of the session.
Omaha Public Schools Superintendent John Mackiel said the law is unconstitutional and will not stand.
"There simply has never been an anti-city school victory anywhere in this nation," Mackiel said. "This law will be no exception."
The 45,000-student Omaha school system is 46 percent white, 31 percent black, 20 percent Hispanic, and 3 percent Asian or American Indian.
Boundaries for the newly created districts would be drawn using current high school attendance areas. That would result in four possible scenarios; in every scenario, two districts would end up with a majority of students who are racial minorities.
You know they're only pulling this shit to keep minorities down. "Geez, these kids aren't doing too well on their standardized tests. Maybe if we segregate the races, we can at least get school funding for the Whiteys." Thank you Bush, and your No Child Left Behind - unless he's Black or Hispanic - Act.
Furthermore, giving minorities control over their school will ensure that they're not shortchanged by white students? This just in: Whitey controls everything. These kids will absolutely be shortchanged, but in the school funding they lose when their standardized test scores plummet, thanks to underpaid teachers and already shitty public school funding. Which school district do you think will get all the competent teachers...? Hmmm...
Supporters said the plan would give minorities control over their own school board and ensure that their children are not shortchanged in favor of white youngsters.
Republican Gov. Dave Heineman signed the measure into law.
Omaha Sen. Pat Bourne decried the bill, saying, "We will go down in history as one of the first states in 20 years to set race relations back."
"History will not, and should not, judge us kindly," said Sen. Gwen Howard of Omaha.
Attorney General Jon Bruning sent a letter to one of the measure's opponents saying that the bill could be in violation of the Constitution's equal-protection clause and that lawsuits almost certainly will be filed.
But its backers said that at the very least, its passage will force policymakers to negotiate seriously about the future of schools in the Omaha area.
The breakup would not occur until July 2008, leaving time for lawmakers to come up with another idea.
"There is no intent to create segregation," said Omaha Sen. Ernie Chambers, the Legislature's only black senator and a longtime critic of the school system.
He argued that the district is already segregated, because it no longer buses students for integration and instead requires them to attend their neighborhood school.
Chambers said the schools attended largely by minorities lack the resources and quality teachers provided others in the district. He said the black students he represents in north Omaha would receive a better education if they had more control over their district.
Coming from Chambers, the argument was especially persuasive to the rest of the Legislature, which voted three times this week in favor of the bill before it won final passage on the last day of the session.
Omaha Public Schools Superintendent John Mackiel said the law is unconstitutional and will not stand.
"There simply has never been an anti-city school victory anywhere in this nation," Mackiel said. "This law will be no exception."
The 45,000-student Omaha school system is 46 percent white, 31 percent black, 20 percent Hispanic, and 3 percent Asian or American Indian.
Boundaries for the newly created districts would be drawn using current high school attendance areas. That would result in four possible scenarios; in every scenario, two districts would end up with a majority of students who are racial minorities.
You know they're only pulling this shit to keep minorities down. "Geez, these kids aren't doing too well on their standardized tests. Maybe if we segregate the races, we can at least get school funding for the Whiteys." Thank you Bush, and your No Child Left Behind - unless he's Black or Hispanic - Act.
Furthermore, giving minorities control over their school will ensure that they're not shortchanged by white students? This just in: Whitey controls everything. These kids will absolutely be shortchanged, but in the school funding they lose when their standardized test scores plummet, thanks to underpaid teachers and already shitty public school funding. Which school district do you think will get all the competent teachers...? Hmmm...
Monday, April 17, 2006
My rich inner life...
I would totally knock boots with Kumar. No doubt. Especially if he brings his special friend...
Christopher Meloni
Most of you probably know him as a regular on Oz or Law & Order: SVU, and some of you might even know him, like I do, as Gene, the acerbic Vietnam Vet from Wet Hot American Summer, or Freakshow (with all the "hideous boils on his face and neck") from Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Frankly, I don't give a rats ass about Law and Order, but no one plays a quirky bit part like my boy Chris.
Anyway, NYC's very own Chris Meloni will be filming an upcoming episode of SVU in my office!! That's right, this Wednesday Chris will be just down the hall from my office, in one of the newly constructed conference rooms that overlooks downtown, the Hudson river and Lady Liberty, filming the show. I'm going to stand in the shadows of the coat closet waiting for him to emerge, and then I'm going to be all, "Do you know where the powder packets are??? In the cabinet over the sink, right next to my bottle of dick cream. Wait, ignore that last comment."
Eva said she'd take the picture. The only thing left to do is figure out how not to freak him out.
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Hipster chick #1: Did you get to use the bathroom?
Hipster chick #2: No! They said it was for patrons only.
Hipster chick #3: What's a patron?
Hipster chick #2: I dunno. I think it has something to do with being in the army.
--45th & Broadway
This is why I don't feel bad about making fun of hipsters. Too busy popping their collars to figure out the difference between "patron" and what I can only assume is "patriot," which still doesn't make sense.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Awesomeness
I'm at work today and I just popped an Adderol given to me by the lovely Janey. I have a lot of school work to get done and can't do it at home with all the pot and poker. Here goes a few hours of being acutely focused!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Guy: You know whose coochie smells? Don't take this the wrong way: white girls. White girls' coochie always smells nasty. Every white girl I been with, their coochie is stank.
Chick: You know why? It's 'cause white girls live far from the ghetto, and they have a longass train ride to get to the ghetto, and by the time they get to your house in the ghetto, they sweating and waiting and their coochie stinks.
--40th between 7th & 8th
Not true sistah! I live in the ghetto! And I know at least three other white girls who do as well. So there!!
Bed-Stuy
I spent last night in Bed-Stuy with my friend Janey and two of her friends, having dinner and drinks and smoking joints on the fire escape. This is the first time I've been to that leg of Brooklyn, and I found it to be rather charming, despite the reputation that precedes it. She has an adorable little studio above a hair salon on a main street, so there's lost of bustling and action going on outside. Great to watch from our little perch on the fire-escape. (See: terrace) Fire-escapes are quickly becoming one of my favorite things about NYC. I'm really falling in love with this city.
On another positive note, I found myself telling my officemate this morning that I'm glad Dan and I broke up. These past two weeks have been incredibly liberating, despite the heartbreak. It's proved to me that I was right when I thought I wasn't in love with him, and that there are plenty of other men out there who are at least as good for me, if not better. Dan is amazing, and I don't regret a day with him, but I think the breakup was for the better. I really put myself back out there over the past few weeks, throwing myself into school and work and the dating pool again, and it's come back to me 10-fold. I'm excited to start a friendship with him once some time goes by and we've learned to realign our feelings for each other.
But I'm not sad anymore. I'm actually really happy. My life couldn't really be going better right now, unless my case integration paper that's due Thursday was already done. But alas...
On another positive note, I found myself telling my officemate this morning that I'm glad Dan and I broke up. These past two weeks have been incredibly liberating, despite the heartbreak. It's proved to me that I was right when I thought I wasn't in love with him, and that there are plenty of other men out there who are at least as good for me, if not better. Dan is amazing, and I don't regret a day with him, but I think the breakup was for the better. I really put myself back out there over the past few weeks, throwing myself into school and work and the dating pool again, and it's come back to me 10-fold. I'm excited to start a friendship with him once some time goes by and we've learned to realign our feelings for each other.
But I'm not sad anymore. I'm actually really happy. My life couldn't really be going better right now, unless my case integration paper that's due Thursday was already done. But alas...
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Woman on cell: No, I mean, whatever. I cried for that baby when it died and all. Shit! I even went to its funeral and the damn thing wasn't even born! Who the fuck has a funeral for a baby that wasn't even born?...Whatever, that's not the point. The point is, I'm sure as hell not going to a birthday party for a baby whose funeral I went to a year ago. That is fucking morbid...and they had better not be expecting presents.
--14th between 7th & 8th
What NOT to do
I just had my second session with my shrink (or should I say didn't have my second session with my shrink) which he had to cancel because his palm pilot died. He couldn't get in touch with me ahead of time because I'm such a new patient and he didn't have my info. When I walked in, he didn't even recognize me, or know that this wasn't our first session. He apologized, but that doesn't really make up for it. When you see someone in order to take control of your mental health, you want to feel like that person really cares about you, and isn't just there to make a buck and shell out pills. When I'm a therapist, I will never let that happen. I'm promising here and now to always remember the names and faces of my patients, and to always make them understand that I do care, and that's why I'm in this profession.
I found a program at the John Jay School of Criminal Justice that has a doctoral program in Forensic Psychology that can be completed in three years. This is obviously a pipe dream, and something for the far away future, but it sounds like it kicks some serious ass!! I would so love to work in the prison system, counseling inmates and their families, etc. I live for this shit!!
I found a program at the John Jay School of Criminal Justice that has a doctoral program in Forensic Psychology that can be completed in three years. This is obviously a pipe dream, and something for the far away future, but it sounds like it kicks some serious ass!! I would so love to work in the prison system, counseling inmates and their families, etc. I live for this shit!!
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Man: Excuse me...I just wanted to let you know that I was walking just outside this station and a large, black man just grabbed and shook me and started saying something crazy.
MTA lady: Did he take anything from you?
Man: No. But he was crazy and he shook me!
--Clinton-Washington Avenues station
Yeah, we have different standards here in NYC.
Although in India, they probably just call it "food"
I got Curry Curry for lunch, so I'm munching on my favorite snack ever - naan bread!!
Monday, April 10, 2006
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Woman: Look at all these rude motherfuckin' men! Can't get up and let none of these ladies have a seat.
Man: Having a vagina is not a disability.
--L train
This reminds me of a segment of the Healthcare Plan episode from The Office (and please bear with my egregious paraphrase):
Dwight: Raise your hand if you want any of these diseases covered. Number one: Inverted penis.
Meredith: Could you mean a vagina? Because if you do, I want that covered.
Dwight: I thought your vagina was removed during your hysterectomy.
Meredith: That was my uterus. I still have a vagina.
12 long years gone by...
Twelve years and two days ago, our Kurt was found dead. I can't believe how much time has passed, or that I was just 13 when I heard the news.Look how sexy he is in this picture. I think he and I would have made a fantastic couple. We would've been a match made from funky sunglasses.
The sun is gone, but I have a light...
I heart online poker
I've discovered that, although I'm really good at poker when I'm stoned, I'm exceptionally skilled when I'm sober. I don't play high stakes, really, but I managed to make $90 yesterday. If things keep going well, I might just quit my job. I mean, if I can manage to bump that number up to $180/day, I'll be making more money than I do now, with some left over to get me some COBRA!!
Friday, April 07, 2006
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Chick: Why doesn't anyone give monuments as gifts anymore?
Teen boy: ...Ha, ha, ha!
Chick: No, you know what I mean, like the Statue of Liberty.
Teen boy: Wouldn't it be great to blindfold someone, telling them you've got this great surprise for them, then take them to the Statue of Liberty, take the blindfold off and say: "It's for you!"
--Columbus Circle
Riding the bus
As much as I love riding the bus, last night was the first time I'd ever ridden one in Manhattan. I've always opted for the subway, because just thinking about the awkward social exchange that would ensue the first time I got on the bus and had to figure out how and where to swipe my card in front of an entire busfull of impatient New Yorkers and a staring driver was enough to deter me for the six months I've lived in this city, and the three years I've worked here. But convenience, time, subway anxiety and the excitement of trying something new forced me to get on the M4 last night at 122nd (I was getting out of class) and take it to the end of my street at 109th and 5th. It was just lovely!!
So this morning, because I know the M4 also runs to Penn Station (How convenient is that? The same bus runs by my school, my apartment and my office.) I decided to hop on the bus at Duke Ellington Circle and ride to work aboveground. Now, of course I'm doing this because I'm trying to open the curtains on my depression and let as much light shine in as possible, and I figured riding down Madison Avenue is probably the prettiest route with the best sight-seeing and people-watching in the entire city. Plus, it's a gorgeous day out, the dinginess of the subway is starting to get to me, it's overcrowded, and I'm just not feeling up to handling all that lately.
So, to cheer myself up, I hop on the bus and literally have to swipe three different cards about eight times, because two were empty, and I kept swiping all of them the wrong way. It was totally embarrassing, but the driver was patient and laughed with me. Then I sat down behind the driver and felt like I couldn't see out of the windows enough, so scooched next to this girl one seat down from me who also probably thought I was a freak for moving closer for what must have seemed to her like no good reason. So then a seat across the way with a really good view opened up, so I got up as the bus was stopping to take that seat and the force of the stop threw me into the seat, banging my huge bag and all my crap against the hard plastic seats. Such a ruckus. I was all, Whatever, I look like a crazy bag lady, my eyes are puffy, I'm disheveled and I clearly don't know how to use a bus properly, so I really can't go on caring about how ridiculous I seem. I'm just going to embrace it.
Anyway, the point of the story is that between having some good Corinne time to read my book and enjoy the weather and the city goings-on, the bus ride turned out to be really lovely. It takes about 15 minutes longer to get to work (it cuts about 15 minutes from my school-to-home trip), but it is absolutely worth it. It made me really appreciate the city, and kind of cheered me up. So, unless I'm late or it's really crappy out, I'm going to take the bus from now on. Yay!
So this morning, because I know the M4 also runs to Penn Station (How convenient is that? The same bus runs by my school, my apartment and my office.) I decided to hop on the bus at Duke Ellington Circle and ride to work aboveground. Now, of course I'm doing this because I'm trying to open the curtains on my depression and let as much light shine in as possible, and I figured riding down Madison Avenue is probably the prettiest route with the best sight-seeing and people-watching in the entire city. Plus, it's a gorgeous day out, the dinginess of the subway is starting to get to me, it's overcrowded, and I'm just not feeling up to handling all that lately.
So, to cheer myself up, I hop on the bus and literally have to swipe three different cards about eight times, because two were empty, and I kept swiping all of them the wrong way. It was totally embarrassing, but the driver was patient and laughed with me. Then I sat down behind the driver and felt like I couldn't see out of the windows enough, so scooched next to this girl one seat down from me who also probably thought I was a freak for moving closer for what must have seemed to her like no good reason. So then a seat across the way with a really good view opened up, so I got up as the bus was stopping to take that seat and the force of the stop threw me into the seat, banging my huge bag and all my crap against the hard plastic seats. Such a ruckus. I was all, Whatever, I look like a crazy bag lady, my eyes are puffy, I'm disheveled and I clearly don't know how to use a bus properly, so I really can't go on caring about how ridiculous I seem. I'm just going to embrace it.
Anyway, the point of the story is that between having some good Corinne time to read my book and enjoy the weather and the city goings-on, the bus ride turned out to be really lovely. It takes about 15 minutes longer to get to work (it cuts about 15 minutes from my school-to-home trip), but it is absolutely worth it. It made me really appreciate the city, and kind of cheered me up. So, unless I'm late or it's really crappy out, I'm going to take the bus from now on. Yay!
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Old lady: Do you have any glue?
Cashier chick: Yeah, what kind?
Old lady: Do you have any crazy glue? Not Krazy Glue, just crazier than Elmer's.
--Vim Drugs, West 181st Street
Turkey Day!!
My lovely officemate just returned from Eastern Europe (Hungary, Romania and Turkey) today and he brought me gifts!! I got some yummy Turkish Delight (which will forever remind me of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe) and a Nazar Boncuk.
I'm attaching a picture and the story behind its meaning. It's made of glass, and I was told I should hang it from my window or doorway to protect me from the evil eye.
Once upon a time (yes, it starts like in a fairy tale) there was a rock by the sea that, even with the force of a hundred men and a lot of dynamite, couldn't be moved or cracked. There was also a man in this town by the sea, who was known to carry the evil eye (Nazar). After much effort and endeavor, the town people brought the man to the rock, and the man, upon looking at the rock said, "My! What a big rock this is." The instant he said this, there was a rip and roar and crack and instantly the immense and impossible rock was found to be cracked in two.
The force of the evil eye (or Nazar) is a widely accepted and feared random element in Turkish daily life. The word *Nazar* denotes seeing or looking and is often used in literally translated phrases such as "Nazar touched her," in reference to a young woman, for example, who mysteriously goes blind.
Another typical scenario. A woman gives birth to a healthy child with pink cheeks, all the neighbors come and see the baby. They shower the baby with compliments, commentating especially on how healthy and chubby the baby is. After getting so much attention weeks later the baby is found dead in his crib. No explanation can be found for the death. It is ascribed to Nazar. Compliments made to a specific body part can result in Nazar. That's why nearly every Turkish mother fixes with a safety pin a small Boncuk on the child's clothes. Once a Boncuk is found cracked, it means it has done his job and immediately a new one has to replace it.
I'm attaching a picture and the story behind its meaning. It's made of glass, and I was told I should hang it from my window or doorway to protect me from the evil eye.
Once upon a time (yes, it starts like in a fairy tale) there was a rock by the sea that, even with the force of a hundred men and a lot of dynamite, couldn't be moved or cracked. There was also a man in this town by the sea, who was known to carry the evil eye (Nazar). After much effort and endeavor, the town people brought the man to the rock, and the man, upon looking at the rock said, "My! What a big rock this is." The instant he said this, there was a rip and roar and crack and instantly the immense and impossible rock was found to be cracked in two.The force of the evil eye (or Nazar) is a widely accepted and feared random element in Turkish daily life. The word *Nazar* denotes seeing or looking and is often used in literally translated phrases such as "Nazar touched her," in reference to a young woman, for example, who mysteriously goes blind.
Another typical scenario. A woman gives birth to a healthy child with pink cheeks, all the neighbors come and see the baby. They shower the baby with compliments, commentating especially on how healthy and chubby the baby is. After getting so much attention weeks later the baby is found dead in his crib. No explanation can be found for the death. It is ascribed to Nazar. Compliments made to a specific body part can result in Nazar. That's why nearly every Turkish mother fixes with a safety pin a small Boncuk on the child's clothes. Once a Boncuk is found cracked, it means it has done his job and immediately a new one has to replace it.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Crazy woman: I'm still alive and breathing, thank you very much, despite the best efforts of the Devil.
--Food Court, Grand Central
Huh. That's kind of how I feel today.
It's F'ing Snowing!!
American Idol: The Beard
OK, OK, OK. So, Simon annoys the hell out of all of us with his snooty British accent and predictable sarcasm, but last night he was so on target with his insult sling-shooting that poor Ryan Seacrest was left speechless with his pubic hair chin on the floor.
Donning an unshaved punim, Seacrest was just begging Simon to rip him a larger asshole. During one of their routine catfights, Simon announced:
Did he just pull a double-funny? In the same quip, he managed to call Ryan out on his illicit rendezvous with Botox Hatcher, AND make fun of him for employing the services of a Beard in order to protect his very, very heterosexual reputation.
I couldn't have said it better myself, Simon. Classic. Beautiful and classic.
Donning an unshaved punim, Seacrest was just begging Simon to rip him a larger asshole. During one of their routine catfights, Simon announced:
“Ryan, with respect, I’m not the one trying to look like someone out of ‘Desperate Housewives.’ Lose the beard.”
Did he just pull a double-funny? In the same quip, he managed to call Ryan out on his illicit rendezvous with Botox Hatcher, AND make fun of him for employing the services of a Beard in order to protect his very, very heterosexual reputation.I couldn't have said it better myself, Simon. Classic. Beautiful and classic.
Sister Souljah
For anyone who hasn't read Souljah, do yourself a favor and pick up The Coldest Winter Ever. Not only is it an easy read and a fantastic look at drugs and growing up in the ghetto, but it's got a message that is pervasive beyond racial and class lines. I thought I'd include a few exerpts from her book, for anyone who's looking for a little spiritual cocaine.This was an exerpt of a lecture directed at young Black women dying of AIDS, but the meaning carries. Things could be so much worse.Somewhere along the line, many of us as women are led to believe that being pretty is enough. And while we rely on that, we forget to strengthen our minds so that we can learn how to think, how to build. How to survive. We forget how to live our lives to protect our spirit, to be clean and decent. We forget that everything we do matters so much.
So when you look in the mirror don't see death, see life. Don't see ugly, see beauty. It may not seem like it, but you are powerful. A change of mind, a change of spirit, and a change of actions can create a new you. You are needed. We need you to make the rest of your life mean something psecial. We need you to take good care of yourselves and each other, so those of us who love and need you, can still have you back in our homes, our communities. Yes, there is much to live for.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Guess who?
This was just sent to me by a co-worker. Can you guess who said it?
"One of the great things about America, one of the beauties of our country, is that when we see a young, innocent child blown up by an IED, we cry. "
This weekend
Since I was too depressed this weekend to write anything at all, I never got to update about my weekend, which, all emotions aside, was pretty sick. With The Wife and a box of tissues by my side, I watched all of the Autopsy shows on HBO on Demand, which, for anyone who knows me, are at least as good as sex. With no more Autopsy's to watch, and my options for distractions that don't remind me of the ex quickly diminishing, The Wife and I walked downtown about 3 blocks to a salon we'd passed a million times, and always wanted to go in to, but never did. We're two honkeys living in Spanish Harlem and didn't know if we'd turn heads when we walked in. But I'm glad we did because this was the most fun salon ever. For a mere $24 each, we got a manicure and pedicure, and spent an hour and a half chatting it up with other women in the salon about celebrity gossip, as I tried my best to resurrect my conversational Spanish.
Once that was over, we walked to the supermarket and bought the fixins for dinner, which I made and did my best to choke down. I really must be going through a hard time, because even the roasted asparagus (one of my favorite foods ever) was hard to get down. Plus, I totally overcooked my pork chop, so that was pretty inedible.
Sunday was pretty much the most gorgeous day of the year, and I figured some fresh air and a few alcoholic beverages might perk me up. So The Wife and I met up with my friend Matt and had some drinks outside at a bar on the UWS, followed by a rendezvous at his apartment where we tinkered on the piano and smoked a joint. I wore a black wife beater, a white skirt and dark sunglasses, which made me feel pretty summer-y, and also hid 3 days worth of puffy eyes. But it also allowed for my first sunburn of the year, which I don't think I've ever gotten as early as April 2nd. I was pretty pleased with myself, and am ready to soak up some more rays, once the weather decides it wants to be Spring for good.
Then it was Sopranos and Big Love, a game of poker and off to bed.
My Dad took me out to lunch today because he was in the city, which reminded me that there's absolutely no man in the world that can replace a father. If you're a Daddy's girl, like me. I feel so much better after just being with him for an hour and a half. No one can put a Band-Aid on a broken heart like my Dad.
I'm pretty obsessed with my parents.
Alrighty, time to focus on writing a paper on SEX. I love Columbia.
Once that was over, we walked to the supermarket and bought the fixins for dinner, which I made and did my best to choke down. I really must be going through a hard time, because even the roasted asparagus (one of my favorite foods ever) was hard to get down. Plus, I totally overcooked my pork chop, so that was pretty inedible.
Sunday was pretty much the most gorgeous day of the year, and I figured some fresh air and a few alcoholic beverages might perk me up. So The Wife and I met up with my friend Matt and had some drinks outside at a bar on the UWS, followed by a rendezvous at his apartment where we tinkered on the piano and smoked a joint. I wore a black wife beater, a white skirt and dark sunglasses, which made me feel pretty summer-y, and also hid 3 days worth of puffy eyes. But it also allowed for my first sunburn of the year, which I don't think I've ever gotten as early as April 2nd. I was pretty pleased with myself, and am ready to soak up some more rays, once the weather decides it wants to be Spring for good.
Then it was Sopranos and Big Love, a game of poker and off to bed.
My Dad took me out to lunch today because he was in the city, which reminded me that there's absolutely no man in the world that can replace a father. If you're a Daddy's girl, like me. I feel so much better after just being with him for an hour and a half. No one can put a Band-Aid on a broken heart like my Dad.
I'm pretty obsessed with my parents.
Alrighty, time to focus on writing a paper on SEX. I love Columbia.
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Sometimes, these are just too good to pick one:
Promoter guy: This your first time at the Empire State Building?
Dude: Yeah, it is.
Promoter guy: Cool. Where are you from?
Dude: Native New Yorker.
Promoter guy: I don't want to talk to you.
--Empire State Building
Girl #1: ...I mean, I can think of plenty better reasons why I shouldn't date him than the fact that we're semi-related.
Girl #2: ...Um, I don't think a better reason exists than that one.
Girl #1: You are really turning it into something that it's not. the key word here is "semi."
Girl #2: No! The key word here is "related"!
--Hoyt-Schermerhorn station
Monday, April 03, 2006
I'm sure people are more interested in reading about Katie Holmes than my broken heart, and you know what? I almost can't blame them. Check this out.
Tom's in Germany promoting MI:3, under the faulty impression that people will actually be going to see it, and admitted on television that Katie is due any minute. Then why the hell aren't you in the same country as your ticking-time-bomb of a fiancee? That girl looks like she's carrying three aliens. One can only hope, for Katie's sake, that Tom doesn't make it back to the States in time, so the poor girl can scream her head off and hold her baby whenever the hell she wants.
Whenever I get depressed about my recent break-up, I can just think about how lucky I am not to be a Scientologist. And, at least I wasn't impregnanted by my ex's alien spawn before he dumped my ass.
Although, in a way, Scientology reminds me of my ex. We had plans to give the Scientologists in the Times Square underground mecca a run for their money by sitting for their "Stress Tests" and then using our mental acuity to completely destroy and humiliate them. They always look like such nice people though, so I feel kind of bad. Maybe they could help me with my post-break-up Thetan Levels.
And just for fun, here's a picture of Jordan slutting it up, even while she was pregnant. By the way, I have no idea who this chick is or what she does. All I know is that she has a blind son, a fugly husband and fake tits.I believe this was her Halloween costume. She probably went as Trailor Barbie.
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
You all get two quotes today because I was delinquent on my Friday postings:
And here's one from last Friday:
And just for fun:
Guy #1: You should feel honored to live in New Jersey.
Guy #2: I like living in Jersey. It just really sucks commuting here every day.
Guy #1: It's like the Jews being kosher. It's the price you pay for being chosen.
--12th & 5th
And here's one from last Friday:
Dealer guy: Hey man, buy some weed?
Yuppie guy: Sure. And while I'm at it, why don't I just not send my kids to school, get them addicted to heroin, and leave them on the street to die?
Dealer guy: You sure you don't want some weed?
--Washington Square Park
And just for fun:
Guy: Is that an iPod?
Girl: No, it's a gaydar.
--D train
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Guido #1: She was givin' me lip, so I returned the favor by pissing on her face.
Guido #2: For real dog, that's what you gotta do.
Guido #1: I had to go anyways, so it was really two birds and a stone.
--Fordham University, Rose Hill
Hero of the Day: Jill Carroll
As you all probably know already, Jill Carroll, the American journalist kidnapped in Iraq three months ago, was freed today. She is unharmed, looks very healthy and was very articulate and intelligent-sounding as she described her experience. She also had this to say:
All I can say right now is that I'm just happy to be free. I was treated very well. It's important people know that, that I was not harmed. They never said they would hit me, never threatened me in any way.
I'm not saying anything about anything. I just have two words: Guantanamo Bay.
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