Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Short week!
Well, I'm back to work. But, the silver lining is that I'm only back for 3 1/2 days. You see, our water was shut off this weekend, forcing us to subsist in primitive living conditions for a good part of it. I dealt with the FDNY, NYPD, my super, my landlord, the apartment management company and about 5 other incensed tenants. Our management company is too cheap to send a plumber out on weekends or holidays, so we all had to let our shit pile up in the toilet and walk around with grimy teeth for two days. It was absolutely disgusting. Not to mention that the temperature around here is now in the 80's and wifey and I have yet to purchase our air conditioners (which we're doing after work tomorrow.) Anyway, there was no way I was coming into work looking and smelling like I did this morning, OCD working overtime and my skin stickier than a high-end lint brush. I had to wait for them to turn the water back on this morning, so I didn't get in until noon-thirty. I haven't felt any real allegiance to my job in months, so I'm not too concerned about being here and doing work anymore. Especially since now even my boss is jumping ship.
I finally watched Crash yesterday, too. It's amazing to me how such a shitty cast can win an Academy Award for Best Movie, but that's what race relations will do for you. I mean, it was either Homosexuality with a capital H, or Race with a capital R. I guess the world wasn't ready for Brokeback. It was a good movie, kept my attention, and certainly a lot of thought was put into the interweaving plotlines, but it was WAY too convenient. Also, it addressed mostly overt racism, and not institutionalized racism, which is trickier and far less acknowledged. But, I mean, when you take off the benevolent mask of the "mixing bowl" or "salad bowl" or whatever metaphor is in vogue, Crash is exactly what is left festering beneath the surface. It's an exaggeration, but that doesn't make it any less real. It made me want to get back into the habit of keeping current on my movie watching.
I've got class tonight, which means I'm out of here at 5:30. Our research group has decided to focus on MICA (Mentally Ill and Chemically Addicted) but there is a startling lack of groundwork laid out upon which to build our own projnect. It's really fascinating, nonetheless. I cannot wait to start my fieldwork - even though I'll be nervous as hell - and to be in class full time. Thursdays free won't be too bad, either. I'll just try and pick up part-time work somewhere to support my vices.
3 1/2 more hours until I can leave!! That seems like ages from now... Maybe I'll pick up some soup before class... or maybe it's too hot for that... OK, I'm going back to studying.
I finally watched Crash yesterday, too. It's amazing to me how such a shitty cast can win an Academy Award for Best Movie, but that's what race relations will do for you. I mean, it was either Homosexuality with a capital H, or Race with a capital R. I guess the world wasn't ready for Brokeback. It was a good movie, kept my attention, and certainly a lot of thought was put into the interweaving plotlines, but it was WAY too convenient. Also, it addressed mostly overt racism, and not institutionalized racism, which is trickier and far less acknowledged. But, I mean, when you take off the benevolent mask of the "mixing bowl" or "salad bowl" or whatever metaphor is in vogue, Crash is exactly what is left festering beneath the surface. It's an exaggeration, but that doesn't make it any less real. It made me want to get back into the habit of keeping current on my movie watching.
I've got class tonight, which means I'm out of here at 5:30. Our research group has decided to focus on MICA (Mentally Ill and Chemically Addicted) but there is a startling lack of groundwork laid out upon which to build our own projnect. It's really fascinating, nonetheless. I cannot wait to start my fieldwork - even though I'll be nervous as hell - and to be in class full time. Thursdays free won't be too bad, either. I'll just try and pick up part-time work somewhere to support my vices.
3 1/2 more hours until I can leave!! That seems like ages from now... Maybe I'll pick up some soup before class... or maybe it's too hot for that... OK, I'm going back to studying.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Age-long question answered!!
Which came first: the chicken or the egg? Turns out - IT WAS THE EGG!!LONDON, England -- It's a question that has baffled scientists, academics and pub bores through the ages: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Now a team made up of a geneticist, philosopher and chicken farmer claim to have found an answer. It was the egg.
Put simply, the reason is down to the fact that genetic material does not change during an animal's life.
Therefore the first bird that evolved into what we would call a chicken, probably in prehistoric times, must have first existed as an embryo inside an egg.
Professor John Brookfield, a specialist in evolutionary genetics at the University of Nottingham, told the UK Press Association the pecking order was clear.
The living organism inside the eggshell would have had the same DNA as the chicken it would develop into, he said.
"Therefore, the first living thing which we could say unequivocally was a member of the species would be this first egg," he added. "So, I would conclude that the egg came first."
The same conclusion was reached by his fellow "eggsperts" Professor David Papineau, of King's College London, and poultry farmer Charles Bourns.
Mr Papineau, an expert in the philosophy of science, agreed that the first chicken came from an egg and that proves there were chicken eggs before chickens.
He told PA people were mistaken if they argued that the mutant egg belonged to the "non-chicken" bird parents.
"I would argue it is a chicken egg if it has a chicken in it," he said.
"If a kangaroo laid an egg from which an ostrich hatched, that would surely be an ostrich egg, not a kangaroo egg."
Bourns, chairman of trade body Great British Chicken, said he was also firmly in the pro-egg camp.
He said: "Eggs were around long before the first chicken arrived. Of course, they may not have been chicken eggs as we see them today, but they were eggs."
The debate, which may come as a relief to those with argumentative relatives, was organized by Disney to promote the release of the film "Chicken Little" on DVD
If you mess with the bull, you're gonna get the horns
R.I.P. Paul Gleason!!The principal from The Breakfast Club passed away Saturday from a rare lung cancer caused by asbestos. This is sad news for any John Hughes fanatic. I don't even know what I'm going to do with myself today.
Maybe raid Barry Manilow's wardrobe...?
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Overheard at Columbia University, Take II
In the words of Kumar of Harold and Kumar, "What the fuck kind of Ivy League university is this??"
Guy: I said to myself 'he's never going to make it', he's a drug freak, he has three STDs. But you proved me wrong, my friend.
--Columbia Journalism School Graduation Reception
Girl #1: Okay, I got it! We should all do coke for Melissa's birthday!
Long pause.
Girl #2: Uhhhh, no.
Girl #1: I meant that as a joke...ehhh, I think. I mean who would actually suggest that? [under her breath] Awww, damn.
--Columbia
Columbia girl: I can't believe the 1 is skipping all the stops from 96th to 145th.
Guy: I know. You'll have to transfer at 145th for the downtown.
Subway stops at 145th.
Columbia girl: Is this where Manhattan ends?
Girl #1: That Major English Texts class is ridiculous. You had to memorize soo
much.
Girl #2: You're not even in that class! I'm in that class...so I would know. You shouldn't be complaining!
Girl #1: I'm the TA, asshole.
--Columbia University
Friday, May 19, 2006
My litany of complaints
Thank God for a beer and a J because this past hour was trifling!!
First, I walked 7 blocks to Duane Reade, only to find out that the pharmacist at my normal DR completely fucked me over by transferring my prescription without telling me. So I had to walk back 7 more blocks without having accomplished what I set out to do. And in addition to that, the DR where my prescription is now being held (and where I will be in the vicinity of tomorrow) isn't open on the weekends. Thank God my doctor gave me a couple bottles of samples to tide me over, otherwise this would be a very, very difficult weekend of withdrawal, a day-long date with Cory on Saturday and a Sunday of working at the Hindenburg of law firms. That's right, the company that signs my paychecks was indicted by the Federal Goverment today on charges of money laundering, tax evasion and racketeering, among a handful of other charges that I can't even remember. Anyway, we're about to go down like Enron and Arthur Andersen. Although, unlike the Titanic, where all the rich escaped unscathed, it's the expendable, peon staff members like myself who will be watching the rest of them go down with the ship, as we sail off peacefully in little rowboats called Law School, Defense Firm or for me, CUSSW. And hey, I hear we get bonuses for sticking around, so, Woot Woot!! This is like my dream come true. I can't lose! If they fire me or I get laid off, I just collect unemployment until I start school in the Fall. If they keep me, they give me money to stay with them as they take swings at this lawsuit. I'm pretty much between a pillow and a beach here, so to speak...
Anyway, disappointed with my lack of success at DR, I decided to fill my belly with some good hippie fare, because I had a craving for asparagus and granola (and no, I can't be pregnant because I haven't had sex in two months, thank you very much). But of course, all three of the grocery stores within a 7 block radius of my house were not in the business of selling either one of those items today. Why? Because I live in the ghetto. I'm lucky if I can find a banana around here.
So on the way home, the homeless guy (not homeless homeless, he has a place to stay I think - he was well dressed, well spoken and clearly sober...he says his shelter burned down) who gave me such a guilt trip the first time he stopped me that I came home and cried, stopped me for the third time tonight with the same story he had the last two times, only now I know it's just his game, because when I tried to give him money last time, he rolled his eyes at me and gave me a "what, that's it?" look, and then tried to give it back to me, saying he wanted me to go to the store and buy him baby formula with my credit card. Yeah, it's 11:00 at night, I'm going to go walking off with a perfect stranger in the middle of the night in Harlem. I couldn't believe how rude he was to me.
And before I even left for the DR, my crackhead next door neighbor comes pounding on my door asking for $20. What??
There are so many things I love about where I live, but people asking me for money CONSTANTLY is not one of them. And I don't mean to sound like a Republican here. I'd like to clarify that I typically carry change and singles in my pockets at all times because I DO get asked so much, and I really do want to help. But there's something about me I think (my ex said it's because I have a kind face and my mom says it's because I "look like a social worker") that makes me a constant target. It's rare that a day goes by that I don't get asked for money, and most days I'm asked several times, so my complaint is only that I can't enjoy a short walk to the store without being stopped and asked for something that I don't have. But if that's my Achilles' Heel, it's only because I'm so blessed, and I truly am grateful for the privaleges that I have.
Anyway, I'm even annoying myself, so I'm going to get back to my game of poker, get this cat off me and try to find some food. Peace!
First, I walked 7 blocks to Duane Reade, only to find out that the pharmacist at my normal DR completely fucked me over by transferring my prescription without telling me. So I had to walk back 7 more blocks without having accomplished what I set out to do. And in addition to that, the DR where my prescription is now being held (and where I will be in the vicinity of tomorrow) isn't open on the weekends. Thank God my doctor gave me a couple bottles of samples to tide me over, otherwise this would be a very, very difficult weekend of withdrawal, a day-long date with Cory on Saturday and a Sunday of working at the Hindenburg of law firms. That's right, the company that signs my paychecks was indicted by the Federal Goverment today on charges of money laundering, tax evasion and racketeering, among a handful of other charges that I can't even remember. Anyway, we're about to go down like Enron and Arthur Andersen. Although, unlike the Titanic, where all the rich escaped unscathed, it's the expendable, peon staff members like myself who will be watching the rest of them go down with the ship, as we sail off peacefully in little rowboats called Law School, Defense Firm or for me, CUSSW. And hey, I hear we get bonuses for sticking around, so, Woot Woot!! This is like my dream come true. I can't lose! If they fire me or I get laid off, I just collect unemployment until I start school in the Fall. If they keep me, they give me money to stay with them as they take swings at this lawsuit. I'm pretty much between a pillow and a beach here, so to speak...
Anyway, disappointed with my lack of success at DR, I decided to fill my belly with some good hippie fare, because I had a craving for asparagus and granola (and no, I can't be pregnant because I haven't had sex in two months, thank you very much). But of course, all three of the grocery stores within a 7 block radius of my house were not in the business of selling either one of those items today. Why? Because I live in the ghetto. I'm lucky if I can find a banana around here.
So on the way home, the homeless guy (not homeless homeless, he has a place to stay I think - he was well dressed, well spoken and clearly sober...he says his shelter burned down) who gave me such a guilt trip the first time he stopped me that I came home and cried, stopped me for the third time tonight with the same story he had the last two times, only now I know it's just his game, because when I tried to give him money last time, he rolled his eyes at me and gave me a "what, that's it?" look, and then tried to give it back to me, saying he wanted me to go to the store and buy him baby formula with my credit card. Yeah, it's 11:00 at night, I'm going to go walking off with a perfect stranger in the middle of the night in Harlem. I couldn't believe how rude he was to me.
And before I even left for the DR, my crackhead next door neighbor comes pounding on my door asking for $20. What??
There are so many things I love about where I live, but people asking me for money CONSTANTLY is not one of them. And I don't mean to sound like a Republican here. I'd like to clarify that I typically carry change and singles in my pockets at all times because I DO get asked so much, and I really do want to help. But there's something about me I think (my ex said it's because I have a kind face and my mom says it's because I "look like a social worker") that makes me a constant target. It's rare that a day goes by that I don't get asked for money, and most days I'm asked several times, so my complaint is only that I can't enjoy a short walk to the store without being stopped and asked for something that I don't have. But if that's my Achilles' Heel, it's only because I'm so blessed, and I truly am grateful for the privaleges that I have.
Anyway, I'm even annoying myself, so I'm going to get back to my game of poker, get this cat off me and try to find some food. Peace!
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
David Blaine sucks
Even Blaine, MO is more fascinating than his pruney ass. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, he'd been in a human-sized fish bowl for the past 7 days. Which is fitting, since David is about as intelligent and captivating as a goldfish. And I'm talking about those .99 cent goldfish that you buy in the shit-caked communal tank at PetCo or win at the carnival. Not even one of those cool $3 goldfish with the bubble heads.
In any event, following his 7 day stint as a swimming embarrassment to NYC, he attempted to break the world breath-holding record of 8 minutes and 58 seconds. He wanted to make it to 9 minutes, but the douche-bag pussied out and barely made it past 7 minutes. Shit, I've held my breath longer during autoeroticism.
Here's a picture of his goofy ass right before the paramedics decided to let him live. This just in: You're not Jesus Christ. You don't get to be a martyr in this lifetime by shrivelling up like uterine lining and swimming around in a womb-like sphere for seven days.
And because I hate him so much, here are some Overheard Blaine quotes for y'all:
In any event, following his 7 day stint as a swimming embarrassment to NYC, he attempted to break the world breath-holding record of 8 minutes and 58 seconds. He wanted to make it to 9 minutes, but the douche-bag pussied out and barely made it past 7 minutes. Shit, I've held my breath longer during autoeroticism.
Here's a picture of his goofy ass right before the paramedics decided to let him live. This just in: You're not Jesus Christ. You don't get to be a martyr in this lifetime by shrivelling up like uterine lining and swimming around in a womb-like sphere for seven days.And because I hate him so much, here are some Overheard Blaine quotes for y'all:
Man: This is stupid...and incredibly boring.
David Blaine: Hey, I can hear you!
--Lincoln Center
A guy and girl approach a sleeping David Blaine in his bubble.
Security guard: Hands of the glass, sir.
Guy: It's okay, it's okay...I just wanna talk to him.
Guy and girl, putting both hands on glass: WAKE UP DAVID BLAINE!
Security guard: Exit! Exit!
--Lincoln Center
Monday, May 08, 2006
Overheard at Columbia University
Welcome to my special edition of Overheard in New York Quote of the Day. This is in tribute to all the ivy league dumbasses I go to school
with:
with:
Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.
--College Walk, Columbia University
Girl #1: I heard Columbia Snacks is actually a pot service.
Girl #2: What, like they sell weed and stuff?
Girl #1: No, pots for dorm plants. Yeah, weed, girl. They just want to up the GPA here.
Girl #2: Huh?
Girl #1: Don't you know weed boosts your smarts? It's a proven fact that weed makes you dumber the day after. But it's also proven that it makes you much much smarter the day after that.
--Columbia University
Guy: Dude, have you ever tried to jack of twice in 20 minutes?
--Columbia University
Girl #1: My brother's started taking marijuana and I'm worried cause he's only 17.
Girl #2: I'm so anti-drugs because my dad's brother died of a drug overdose.
Girl #1: Was it a marijuana overdose?
--Columbia University
Girl #1: I just got waxed. Feel my legs, they're sooo soft.
Girl #2: Ooohhh. Sooo smooth.
Girl #1: Yeah, you should feel my cooch.
--Columbia University
Chick #1: Ahh! Why am I, like, sweating?
Chick #2: What is your shirt made of, cotton?
Chick #1: Well, it's from Forever 21, so it's probably dead Chinese children.
--Columbia University
Workout chick: Don't worry, your standards are just off because you dated a fetus. Want some ice cream?
--Columbia University
Girl #1: Okay, what should I get? The Gombee burger sounds good. Hey, that kinda sounds like Gandhi...except he probably wouldn't want to eat the burger. Remember that time he was on that hunger strike?
Girl #2: Aren't cows like, sacred to Hindus or something?
Girl #1: Oh! That's probably why he wouldn't have wanted to eat it.
--Columbia University
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
Girl #1: So he was at my house and we were like, fooling around on my bed, and I was lying on top of him, but then I made him get up.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Because if he got turned on, got hard, came, his zipper fell down a little and some come got on my pants and while I was taking off my pants it brushed my underwear and then went inside me, I could totally get pregnant.
Girl #2: Oh, right.
--84th & 2nd
Registering for class!
I just finished registering for the Fall semester, and thankfully, I got all the classes I wanted, at all the times I wanted and with all the professors I wanted. So, I'll be working in the field M/T/F and taking classes on Wednesday only. Which means I have Thursdays free to study or find a part-time job! Very exciting! So my Wednesday schedule looks like the following:
Social Welfare Policy 10-11:50
Practice in Alcoholism & Chemical Dependency 2-3:50
Foundations of Social Work 4:10-7:10
I'm really excited to take the Alcoholism & Chemical Dependency class, which is basically the reason I came to grad school in the first place. Funnily enough, it's no longer the kind of counseling I want to do, but I think it will be helpful nonetheless. I think something crazy like 80% of incarcerated people have alcohol or drug dependency issues.
Social Welfare Policy 10-11:50
Practice in Alcoholism & Chemical Dependency 2-3:50
Foundations of Social Work 4:10-7:10
I'm really excited to take the Alcoholism & Chemical Dependency class, which is basically the reason I came to grad school in the first place. Funnily enough, it's no longer the kind of counseling I want to do, but I think it will be helpful nonetheless. I think something crazy like 80% of incarcerated people have alcohol or drug dependency issues.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Overheard in New York Quote of the Day
African-American student: Later Mr. B, stay white and don't let the black man bite!
Mr. B: Ok, Alex, stay black and don't take my wallet.
--NYC Lab School
Song of the Day
Damien Jurado - Letters and Drawings
I mean, he's kind of a fatass, but I'd still hit that shit. Everyone knows I love a teddy bear.
I mean, he's kind of a fatass, but I'd still hit that shit. Everyone knows I love a teddy bear.
I'm baaaaack...
So, after a short reprieve wherein I completed my first year of graduate school, I'm back to the blog, baby! And I have a great story for you this morning...nice little tid-bit to welcome me back.
I was standing in the elevator bank this morning listening to my Pod, when a suit walks into the bank and promptly drops his venti, or grande, or whatever the shit means a "large" CharFucks coffee on the floor, splattering it all over himself. My better half felt bad for the guy, while the bigger part of me was like, "Great, now I have to figure out a way not to laugh at his ass for 50 floors." **BING** The elevator doors open and, pretending like I don't see the huge oil spill, step over it and into the elevator. Then the guy says, "That's alright, I hate Starbucks anyway." A woman responds with, "Why? Too corporate?" and he replies, "No, too expensive." Well then why the fuck weren't you more careful with your precious $15 coffee?? Idiot.
I was standing in the elevator bank this morning listening to my Pod, when a suit walks into the bank and promptly drops his venti, or grande, or whatever the shit means a "large" CharFucks coffee on the floor, splattering it all over himself. My better half felt bad for the guy, while the bigger part of me was like, "Great, now I have to figure out a way not to laugh at his ass for 50 floors." **BING** The elevator doors open and, pretending like I don't see the huge oil spill, step over it and into the elevator. Then the guy says, "That's alright, I hate Starbucks anyway." A woman responds with, "Why? Too corporate?" and he replies, "No, too expensive." Well then why the fuck weren't you more careful with your precious $15 coffee?? Idiot.
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