Ellen Degeneres

CNN.com released a great article about Ellen this morning - and we all know how much I idolize Ellen. It's a great day when a lesbian in a suit is considered the conservative choice of Academy Award hosts. I've also got Ellen on the brain because I got to watch some ground-breaking television while I was home yesterday - Ellen interviewing OPRAH! NO ONE gets to interview Oprah. Anyhow, I love her. And look how hot she is on the new W Magazine cover.

LOS ANGELES, Angeles (Reuters) -- After two years of ceremonies emceed by anti-establishment provocateurs, the Oscars Sunday turn to a kinder, gentler comic and TV talk show host with a flair for putting those around her at ease.

Ellen DeGeneres, who made broadcast history 10 years ago as the first openly gay lead character on U.S. prime-time television, is headed for one of Hollywood's most prestigious assignments as only the second woman to be solo host of the Academy Awards.

She follows in the footsteps of Whoopi Goldberg, who broke the Oscar-hosting gender barrier with emcee turns in 1994, 1996, 1999 and 2002. (Watch DeGeneres warn critics to watch out for her mother )

But in terms of style, the easygoing DeGeneres, host of the weekday talk show "Ellen," could not be more different from Goldberg or her two immediate Oscar predecessors, Jon Stewart and Chris Rock, all of whom are known for a more edgy, irreverent brand of humor.

"It's the same thing I do when I do my show," DeGeneres, 49, told TV Guide magazine recently. "It's really just setting that tone, and for me, being funny without being condescending or mean-spirited."

And in keeping with her trademark preference for slacks and suits over dresses, DeGeneres plans to appear in a variety of tuxedos designed by the leading names in fashion.

DeGeneres already demonstrated a knack for striking that difficult balance between satire and sanctimony as host of the twice-delayed Emmy Awards in November 2001, in the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks and U.S.-led invasion of Afghanistan.

Setting the right tone

She famously opened that show joking that terrorists "can't take away our creativity, our striving for excellence, our joy. Only network executives can do that."

She went on to say she was an ideal host because: "What would bug the Taliban more than seeing a gay woman in a suit surrounded by Jews?"

This year's Oscar telecast producer, Laura Ziskin, called DeGeneres a "brilliant host" who can "keep the evening moving and play the night and play the room, which is critical."

Her choice also seemed to mark an end to Oscar producers' preoccupation with picking hosts -- such as Rock and Stewart -- thought to be especially appealing to younger TV viewers who have increasingly shied away from the Oscars.

Rock's performance two years ago struck many as too testy. He irked some academy members with a monologue in which he told the assembled movie elite that "there's only four real stars" and the rest were "just popular people."

Stewart also drew mixed reviews last year, while the show's U.S. TV audience fell to a three-year low, 38.8 million viewers.

This year, Ziskin is reaching out to the under-50 crowd by featuring a greater number of young presenters, including Jessica Biel, Jack Black, Kirsten Dunst, Anne Hathaway, Tobey Maguire and the new James Bond, Daniel Craig.

She also hopes to make the Oscars more compelling by urging winners to avoid one of the show's great pitfalls -- acceptance speeches that sound like laundry lists of thank-yous.

To that end, Ziskin has asked prospective winners to use their 45 seconds on stage "to entertain, or to enlighten or move us." She encourages them to save their check-lists of gratitude for a new backstage feature, the "Thank-You-Cam," one of many new Oscar tie-ins this year to the Internet.

Another new feature, Ziskin said, will be a four-minute film prepared by documentary maker Errol Morris that pays tribute to this year's Oscar contenders with a montage featuring 140 of the 177 nominees.

"It's all about the nominees and winners, the recipients of the Oscars," Ziskin Said. "They make or break the show."

In another installment of "Draft dodgers shouldn't declare war..."

Prince Harry is set to be deployed to Iraq.

Third in line for the throne, Harry will be sent to Iraq by the end of the month. I know that Royal Family does not equal First Family. I understand that they are operating in entirely different spheres. But I think that if an English prince can fight in a war declared by an American president, then surely one of the jackasses in the White House who thought this war was a good idea can march his ass into the front lines.

If only Mr. Bush had a son...I wonder if he would dissuade his him from joining the military. Like draft-dodging father, like son.

For my cat lovers

If you have not yet tried ScoopAway litter, you must go out and buy some. The chore of kitty litter cleaning has typically fallen to my lovely wife, as the smell of ammonia and my littlest cat's ass kicks my gag reflex into high gear. But today, I was left to mine out the litter boxes on my own because Maureen is at work and I cancelled all my home visits to avoid the bitter wind chill.


Anyway, I'm hesitant to put it this way, but the experience of cleaning out their box was almost pleasurable. Any nasty smell was completely masked by the pleasant aroma of the litter, and every drop of feline poop and pee was nicely encased in a solid, impermeable clump of this magic litter, which makes for easy scooping.


The end result is a litter box that looks like it was just freshly cleaned and not scooped, and the remaining litter is as untouched as if it were just poured from the box. This is truly an amazing product.


The drawbacks: Professionals will tell you not to use scooping litter with kittens - i.e. under 12 months old. My youngest cat is 1.5 years, and I have had no problems. Plus, whatever scent they put into the litter leaves the kitties' bellies (which drag on the litter during potty time) smelling like they just got into a box of dryer sheets.


The second drawback is the weight of the litter. We currently have the smaller box, which at 25 pounds is pretty hefty for its size. This creates problems for those living in metropolitan cities, or those who walk to and from the market. The litter is packaged in much bigger sizes, and unlike traditional litter, comes in a bucket with a handle which might be convenient for some, but which makes the litter inherently un-slingable for those who prefer to carry it over their shoulder.


In sum, I am a ScoopAway convert, and you will likely see more of me tending to the litter boxes in the future. Maybe.

Rant

These days it feels like everyone I know is asking me why I'm almost 26 and unmarried. Yesterday, my boss said that we need to "do something about me" because I'm 25 and single. What is so terrible about being single? It's like a dirty word to my cohort of late. The thought of marriage is laughable, considering my relationship skills and training. But even if I was the messiah of good relationships, the only men I ever meet are gay or over 65. Not that that's not great - God knows I love myself a gay husband or two, and being crushed on rather than berated by my 80-year old male clients sure makes my job easier, but no where in this scenario am I getting any action.

Still, I really enjoy my autonomy. Not to mention the lack of drama. And yet on the same token, I really do worry that my eggs will dry up before I find love. I have the utmost respect for single parents, but that's really not the path I want to venture down, if at all avoidable. My point is, it's not something I'd seek out without already having a husband. And while I've always wanted to be a youngish mother (aka, not 40), I really don't like the idea of children in my life right now. So what's the rush, right? The rush is the additional fear of being the last of my friends to marry, rendering me phased out and holed up with a bunch of cats.

So, what is the solution to this problem? Where does one meet men that are straight and under 65? Apparently not the senior centers, gay bars and schools of social work I've been attending. In the end, I'm not sure I have the time/moxie to seek out coupledom. I suppose if I don't care enough to look, I shouldn't let other people's opinions about being single bother me either. If I enjoy the single life, I shouldn't have to feel bad about living it. Right? Right. Besides, I have an awesome heterolifepartner.

Wait, what?

"Are skinny models making Americans fat?"

This was a headline on MSN news this morning. In what way does this question make sense?

Anna Nicole Smith passes away

Anna Nicole Smith passed away this afternoon. I'm in total shock. I can't say that I'm completely surprised, but I'm definitely shocked and sad. I feel really sorry for all she's been through. Her life started off in Texas and ended with the death of a child. I hear there's nothing worse. I'll miss you dearly, Anna Nicole!